안녕하세요, 바이리뷰입니다.

 

자석교구 지니맥 리뷰어를 발표합니다.

 

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  2. 多功能校准仪 2013.02.02 23:22 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  3. nike free run 2013.02.04 19:16 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  4. nike free run 2013.02.05 02:50 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  5. Clippers Blake Griffin Swingman Jersey 2013.02.19 10:27 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    发完试卷後

    监试老师:「试卷有不清楚的,可以举手发问。」
    白烂 A :「老师!前面同学的试卷很不清楚,他都不问!」

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    上课铃响了,胡老师走进一年级一班教室,他用手
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    某考生在考数学时,最后一道题不会做,他偷看到
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    评卷老师看后,在答案后打个"叉",接着写道:分数略.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    哥哥:今天还要我帮你做作业吗? 弟弟:不敢要了,昨天你把"一顿饭"
    写成"一吨饭",同学们都笑话我是"大饭桶".

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    妈妈:跟你说了多少次.不懂应该问老师. 孩子:我问过了,老师不肯说.
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    不分男女 凯思先生逮住了一个小偷,说:"你怎么偷起妇女的
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    课堂上,数学老师正在讲解多位数减法. .
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    一个报名上改善记忆力课程的女生,去学校领了一
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    医学系的学生进行儿科考试. . 老师问:简述母乳喂养的优点. .
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    记性坏透了 你的教师怎么样?
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    减法
    数学课上,教师对一位学生说:“你怎么连减法都不会?例如,你家里有
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    . 上物理课时,老师问:"什么物体最重?" .
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    在教完>一文后,老师给同学们
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    在一堂数学课上,老师问同学生们:"谁能出
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    在某一幼稚园,当大家都在上课时, 突然间老师看见,明明举手.
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    我的屁股.........想吐!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    教室铭

    分不在高, 及格就行, 学不在深, 作弊则灵, 斯是教室, 惟吾闲情.
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    上生物课,老师说:"心脏一刻都不能停止跳动." .
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    快长大

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    学生:@#$%#$@@!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    背颂经文

    一位富翁发现他为儿子请来的教书先生,居然在教他儿子背颂
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    巧 辩

    老师训斥班里的值日生说:“黑板那么脏,抹布是干的,地球仪 上......”说着他用
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    赏 识 问 答

    老师:“你脚上穿的鞋是什么做的?” 学生:“是皮做的。” 老师:“皮是从哪里
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    上 帝 造 的 人

    老师对学生们说:“小朋友,下午校长要来问你们话,到时你们 要好好地回答。本杰
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    教 师 难 当

    住在美国时,我在侨校教中文,学生中有不少正戴着牙箍接受牙 齿矫正。有一次,我
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    牙齿,将来父母亲老了,你们就花 钱替他们镶假牙,这种情况叫什么?”学生们异口
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    听话的学生

    有次上课,老师跟学生约法三章:作文得“甲”的基本条件是必 须写满两页纸。有一
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    语法课上,约翰思想开了小差。突然教师问道:
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    "喂,怎么样,弗瑞德利克,"父亲问,"你的女老师 满意你吗?"
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    "当然,爸爸.前天她对我说:"要是所有的学生都象
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    学院周边的公共场所对学业有哪些益处?
    1,迪厅:英语
    2,台球厅:数学和物理
    3,酒馆:化学
    4,旅馆:生物

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A:那个女孩考试作弊被劝退了。
    B:是怎么回事儿:
    A:生物考试,数自己肋骨数时被老师发现了。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    一学生把硬币抛向空中:“正面朝上就去看电影,背面朝上就去打台球,如果硬币立
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    女高校长:同学们,你们处于一个堕落的时代,你们的身边到处充满诱惑。我想问你
    们一个问题,
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    学生:校长,一个小时的快乐如何做到?

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    机械专业、电专业及计算机专业学生开车旅行时,车突然坏了,三个人下车检查。
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

  6. mss3cxal7p6 2013.10.21 19:35 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  7. ehm7evgz9s7 2013.10.23 17:37 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  8. qtl1pbuc6z6 2013.10.25 10:37 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  9. xwz9iurl8e1 2013.11.09 00:20 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  10. rtj7fqyh3h2 2013.11.11 15:50 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  11. wot5puog8j3 2013.11.11 19:26 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    上代 朗誦 道案内 任用 白内障 手ブラ 等価交換 駆けっこ 手縫い 無理強い 賭け事 協調性 平和的 戻す 度忘れ 揃い 蛸 惟 炊事 柔道着 打ち上げ花火 生まれ 秘話 尚早 ロー 帯留め 九州 異変 |雪中 自助 後釜 仕方 飽く 今一 呼称 填まる,嵌まる 胸苦しい 最 目くじら お食事処 背く 見て見ぬ振り 原料 金融当局 和語 命中率 撮影所 金市場 など 包茎 にじる ダッシュ http://www.no-vanilla.org/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=35826&p=391909#p391909
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  12. jur7ewnx8x5 2013.11.11 23:11 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  13. zpg9tnex1k1 2013.11.13 06:55 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    http://www.microprintindia.com/trash/newblance-c-3.html うなずく 夜宮 対面 諺 ヘア 年齢制限 快便 薩摩芋 若僧 申し立て 任用 飲み放題 薄商い 陸海 外野席 債 武器 灰皿 人前で アクセス情報 落ち込み 窓越しに 丈 泣きっ面 誤差 医師会 大王 狂う 代替エネルギー 寛文 強肩 加点 有難う 出資者 出切る 宣戦 取りあえず 代理店 謝状 |添付ファイル 若返る 別腹 不調和 身の丈 蹄 思い切って 獅子 癒し系 保険金 精細 生徒 再選 馬耳東風 カウンセリング 大動脈 つかまる 息 旅団 その頃 取締法 引きつける 川辺 すごす 細胞内 学校法人 逆上せる ため息をつく 昇り 八重桜 三日間 http://www.microprintindia.com/trash/newblance-c-3.html
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  14. t2k38u5zpi 2014.04.19 13:05 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    [b][url=http://www.coldfusion411.com/dbadmin/db.php]財布 レディース 人気[/url] [/b] 『ドコモの夏 家族セット割』対応キャンペーン協力店舗7月19日からスタートする複数台購入割引の『ドコモの夏 家族セット割』に対応したキャンペーンセット商品を以下の各店でご用意頂きました 但し、キャンペーン価格の条件が、8月1日より変更となる商品や、数量限定の商品もございます 最新の夏モデルスマートフォン各機種や、在庫僅少ながらGALAXY S3α SC-03EやArrowsXF-02Eなどのお買得スマートフォンとのセットがイチオシです 前回キャンペーン『AppComing読者キャンペーン2013 ゴールデンウィークSpecial ???となる読者キャンペーンも、明日7月31日で延長期間が終了致しますが、多くのご来店・ご購入を頂きまして、誠にありがとうございました [url=http://www.northshield.org/maream/policy.php]ヴィトン 財布[/url]

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    [b][url=http://www.tauch-terminal.com/news/]シャネル バッグ[/url] [/b]キャンペーン再延長対応の協力ドコモショップ(12店舗)徳島: 末広店 応神北環状店香川:高松東店 勅使店福岡: 薬院店 西新店 行橋駅前店 小倉沼店 豆津バイパス店佐賀: 佐賀北店長崎: あぜかり店鹿児島:加治木店★2013年7月7日更新★6月28日から7月7日の予定で開催したAppComing読者キャンペーン2013 Ssummerは、大好評のうちに予定期間が終了となりましたが、夏ボーナス出てから買いたい 但し、キャンペーン価格の条件が、8月1日より変更となる商品や、数量限定の商品もございます ドコモの施策としては、2013夏モデル「ドコモのツートップ」であるGALAXY S 4およびXperia A SO-04Eならば、iモードケータイをご利用の方は「はじめてスマホ割」、10年以上の長期契約回線の方は「ありがとう10年スマホ割」が適用となり、他の夏モデルよりも手厚い月々サポート(SC-04E:機種変更・新規¥2,835/月・MNP新規¥3,465/月、SO-04E:機種変更および新規¥3,045/月・MNP新規¥3,225/月)に加えて月々840円・24か月最大20,160円もおトクに購入できます  明日に、価格修正などのページ更新を実施する予定ですが、それ以降の各店ページの更新は行いませんので、8月1日以降のご購入・ご検討の際は、下記の延長対応各店舗まで、在庫・価格をお問い合わせ下さい  『ドコモの夏 家族セット割』対応キャンペーン協力店舗7月19日からスタートする複数台購入割引の『ドコモの夏 家族セット割』に対応したキャンペーンセット商品を以下の各店でご用意頂きました [url=http://www.jane-williams.me.uk/twitter/]シャネル チェーンバッグ[/url]

    [b][url=http://www.tauch-terminal.com/news/]シャネル バッグ チェーン[/url] [/b]末広店(徳島) 応神北環状店(徳島) 薬院店(福岡) 大橋店(福岡) 西新店(福岡) 古賀店(福岡) 豆津バイパス店 (福岡) イオン大木ショッピングセンター店 (福岡)行橋駅前店(福岡)若松店(福岡)佐賀北店(佐賀) あぜかり店(長崎) 加治木店(鹿児島) キャンペーン協力ドコモショップ16店舗一覧四国エリア(4店舗)dtabプレゼントに加え、7月12日よりMNPキャッシュバック2万円が復活徳島 : 末広店※7月20日更新 応神北環状店※7月26日更新香川 : 高松東店 ※7月20日更新 勅使店※7月20日更新  九州エリア(12店舗)7月12日よりMNPキャッシュバック3.5万円福岡 : 薬院店 ※7月27日更新 大橋店 ※7月27日更新     西新店★イベント実施 ※7月27日更新 行橋駅前店※7月20日更新      小倉沼店※7月20日更新 若松店※7月20日更新 古賀店※7月27日更新     豆津バイパス店※7月27日更新      イオン大木ショッピングセンター店※7月27日更新 佐賀 : 佐賀北店※7月20日更新 長崎 : あぜかり店※7月20日更新 鹿児島 : 加治木店★イベントのみ実施 ※7月23日更新・MNPキャシュバックは¥3万今回キャンペーンでは、九州エリアのドコモショップ6店舗(福岡4店舗、佐賀・長崎の各1店舗)が新たに加わりました 前回キャンペーン『AppComing読者キャンペーン2013 ゴールデンウィークSpecial ???となる読者キャンペーンも、明日7月31日で延長期間が終了致しますが、多くのご来店・ご購入を頂きまして、誠にありがとうございました 但し、キャンペーン価格の条件が、8月1日より変更となる商品や、数量限定の商品もございます 7月31日までの間、延長期間中のキャンペーン商品の追加・変更は、各エリア・各店舗ごとに異なりすので、本ページ、各店舗ページならびにAppComingのTwitter公式アカウント @AppComing をご参照頂き、ご不明な点は各店舗までお問い合わせ頂きますようお願い致します [url=http://www.jane-williams.me.uk/facebook/]シャネル バッグ ヴィンテージ[/url]

  15. Roberttob 2014.04.20 08:17 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    [b][url=http://www.northshield.org/maream/policy.php]ヴィトン 財布 メンズ[/url] [/b] キャンペーン開催期間2013年6月28日(金)~7月7日(日) 7月31日(水)まで延長 末広店(徳島) 応神北環状店(徳島) 薬院店(福岡) 大橋店(福岡) 西新店(福岡) 古賀店(福岡) 豆津バイパス店 (福岡) イオン大木ショッピングセンター店 (福岡)行橋駅前店(福岡)若松店(福岡)佐賀北店(佐賀) あぜかり店(長崎) 加治木店(鹿児島) キャンペーン協力ドコモショップ16店舗一覧四国エリア(4店舗)dtabプレゼントに加え、7月12日よりMNPキャッシュバック2万円が復活徳島 : 末広店※7月20日更新 応神北環状店※7月26日更新香川 : 高松東店 ※7月20日更新 勅使店※7月20日更新  九州エリア(12店舗)7月12日よりMNPキャッシュバック3.5万円福岡 : 薬院店 ※7月27日更新 大橋店 ※7月27日更新     西新店★イベント実施 ※7月27日更新 行橋駅前店※7月20日更新      小倉沼店※7月20日更新 若松店※7月20日更新 古賀店※7月27日更新     豆津バイパス店※7月27日更新      イオン大木ショッピングセンター店※7月27日更新 佐賀 : 佐賀北店※7月20日更新 長崎 : あぜかり店※7月20日更新 鹿児島 : 加治木店★イベントのみ実施 ※7月23日更新・MNPキャシュバックは¥3万今回キャンペーンでは、九州エリアのドコモショップ6店舗(福岡4店舗、佐賀・長崎の各1店舗)が新たに加わりました 西新店(福岡)&加治木店(鹿児島)にてスマートフォンセミナー開催 イベント内容は、各店とも、スマートフォン購入相談およびタッチ&トライ、セミナー、およびセミナー終了後のオフ会の三部構成となります 』から僅か1か月足らずですが、昨年より1か月ほど早く夏モデルが出揃ってきたこのタイミングで、『AppComing読者キャンペーン2013 Summer』を四国4店舗・九州11店舗+イベント開催のみ1店舗の合計16店舗限定で、6月28日(金)より開催する運びとなりましたので、ご案内致します [url=http://www.somewherearound.com/authors.asp]プラダ 店舗[/url]

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    [b][url=http://www.somewherearound.com/best.asp]プラダ 長財布[/url] [/b]「いえ、冗談ですよ [url=http://www.coldfusion411.com/m/new.php]ルイヴィトン 長財布[/url]

    [b][url=http://www.tauch-terminal.com/news/]シャネル ショルダーバッグ[/url] [/b] 明日に、価格修正などのページ更新を実施する予定ですが、それ以降の各店ページの更新は行いませんので、8月1日以降のご購入・ご検討の際は、下記の延長対応各店舗まで、在庫・価格をお問い合わせ下さい  タブレット+スマホを中心にお買得です 最新の夏モデルスマートフォン各機種や、在庫僅少ながらGALAXY S3α SC-03EやArrowsXF-02Eなどのお買得スマートフォンとのセットがイチオシです 7月31日までの間、延長期間中のキャンペーン商品の追加・変更は、各エリア・各店舗ごとに異なりすので、本ページ、各店舗ページならびにAppComingのTwitter公式アカウント @AppComing をご参照頂き、ご不明な点は各店舗までお問い合わせ頂きますようお願い致します 末広店(徳島) 応神北環状店(徳島) 薬院店(福岡) 大橋店(福岡) 西新店(福岡) 古賀店(福岡) 豆津バイパス店 (福岡) イオン大木ショッピングセンター店 (福岡)行橋駅前店(福岡)若松店(福岡)佐賀北店(佐賀) あぜかり店(長崎) 加治木店(鹿児島) キャンペーン協力ドコモショップ16店舗一覧四国エリア(4店舗)dtabプレゼントに加え、7月12日よりMNPキャッシュバック2万円が復活徳島 : 末広店※7月20日更新 応神北環状店※7月26日更新香川 : 高松東店 ※7月20日更新 勅使店※7月20日更新  九州エリア(12店舗)7月12日よりMNPキャッシュバック3.5万円福岡 : 薬院店 ※7月27日更新 大橋店 ※7月27日更新     西新店★イベント実施 ※7月27日更新 行橋駅前店※7月20日更新      小倉沼店※7月20日更新 若松店※7月20日更新 古賀店※7月27日更新     豆津バイパス店※7月27日更新      イオン大木ショッピングセンター店※7月27日更新 佐賀 : 佐賀北店※7月20日更新 長崎 : あぜかり店※7月20日更新 鹿児島 : 加治木店★イベントのみ実施 ※7月23日更新・MNPキャシュバックは¥3万今回キャンペーンでは、九州エリアのドコモショップ6店舗(福岡4店舗、佐賀・長崎の各1店舗)が新たに加わりました [url=http://www.coldfusion411.com/m/new.php]ルイヴィトン 長財布 アウトレット[/url]

    [b][url=http://www.tauch-terminal.com]シャネル トートバッグ[/url] [/b]西新店(福岡)&加治木店(鹿児島)にてスマートフォンセミナー開催  明日に、価格修正などのページ更新を実施する予定ですが、それ以降の各店ページの更新は行いませんので、8月1日以降のご購入・ご検討の際は、下記の延長対応各店舗まで、在庫・価格をお問い合わせ下さい 更に、6月28日からGALAXY S4 SC-04Eが、番号そのまま他社から乗り換えMNPで2万円のキャッシュバックがスタートします ドコモの施策としては、2013夏モデル「ドコモのツートップ」であるGALAXY S 4およびXperia A SO-04Eならば、iモードケータイをご利用の方は「はじめてスマホ割」、10年以上の長期契約回線の方は「ありがとう10年スマホ割」が適用となり、他の夏モデルよりも手厚い月々サポート(SC-04E:機種変更・新規¥2,835/月・MNP新規¥3,465/月、SO-04E:機種変更および新規¥3,045/月・MNP新規¥3,225/月)に加えて月々840円・24か月最大20,160円もおトクに購入できます ※四国エリアは7月12日よりMNPキャッシュバック復活により合計で4万円のキャッシュバックとなりました [url=http://www.coldfusion411.com/m/new.php]ヴィトン 財布[/url]

  16. js25q4u5mb 2014.04.26 11:06 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    [b][url=http://www.tauch-terminal.com/news/]シャネル チェーンウォレット[/url] [/b]「ラジュエラ、あまり付け入りすぎるな」「わかっている  多重に重なり拳唯一点に集中しそこから一気に黒竜の身体を駆け抜ける  合わせる  速い  ……此処に来てからなるべく心を殺すようにしている [url =http://www.lastminutefly.it/gestpay/it.asp]プラダ新作バッグ[/url]

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  17. q2p74o6juq 2014.04.26 11:41 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    [b]???[url=http://www.tauch-terminal.com]シャネル財布[/url] [/b] その贔屓のようにも思える熱烈な加護、その果てに生まれる嫉妬 やっぱ戦うためのものだから?」「じゃろうな 歳相応――ではない気もするが二人とも満更でもなく楽しそうだった  タケヒトは全然食べれない~って言ってたよ? あ、でもコウキはある限り食べれるって言ってた 「けほっ……っっな、なんですかいきなり……っ [url=http://www.coldfusion411.com/m/new.php]ヴィトン 財布[/url]

    [b][url=http://www.tauch-terminal.com]シャネル 財布 激安[/url] [/b]――そしていつもと同じように、俺と同じ剣を戦場から引き抜いた 」「ああ、もうコウキには会ったんだな……聞いた? 俺とタケヒトが来てるって」「……ううん 」「是非 ――その理由を思い出して、アタシは赤面する 」怒りで涙が目の端に溜まる ???[url=http://www.tauch-terminal.com/news/]シャネル 財布[/url]

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    [b][url=http://www.tauch-terminal.com/news/]シャネル 人気[/url] [/b]「で、何が聞きたい?」 一息の間をおいて、オレにそう問いかけた それからしばらくはその夢を見なかった  その距離はすぐに無くなって――…… バタンッッッ  早くこちらへ…… 低い唸り声が聞こえて、狼がまた俺を睨む jane-williams.me.uk/twitter/

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  18. Lestertamn 2014.07.16 00:07 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  6. Clippers Deandre Jordan Swingman Jersey 2013.02.19 10:26 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    散步趣话

    一位胖太太正沿着街道散步时,一个与她素不相识的男孩紧紧地跟
    在她的后面。“你这是干什么?”胖太太回过身问,“你是有什么
    事情要问我吗?”“不,夫人。我只是喜欢在阴凉的地方散步。”

    丈夫的朋友

    瓦伦特一家正准备吃午饭时,站在窗台边的女主人突然对丈夫叫道
    “喂,尼克,你的朋友来了,我敢打赌他们都还没有吃饭!”“快
    !”男主人立刻站了起来,“每个人都拿着牙签,到客厅里坐着”

    有毅力

    一个乞丐向一个肥胖的阔太太乞讨说:“太太,您给点吃的吧,
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    屋漏

    一个人正在焦急地打电话:"喂,是修房公司吗?我的房顶漏了
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    买主于是买下了鹦鹉。等他发现这只鹦鹉只会说“当然”后,他很
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    收音机里的英语

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    朋友

    某人在酒馆里要了两杯酒,喝完一杯又一杯。侍者说:“你真是好
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    红杏出墙.....当然她们的丈夫都不知道.而那些女人在偷情後都会
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    说,以後偷情这两个字改成跌倒.只要讲跌倒,我就知道了.於是就这
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    照顾有限

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    招婿

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    误会

      一名欧洲游客在东京的商店里寻找运动衣的拉链。他用手势向一位女售货员比划
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      在商店里,一位顾客对老板说:“我怀疑你的这架钢琴是翻新的二手货!你瞧,
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    傻瓜

      约翰叔叔来住了几天,临走时,掏出100先令对侄子汤姆说:”这钱你留着零花
    吧。记住,钱要收好,丢了可就白送人了。”汤姆激动地说:知道,傻瓜才把钱白送
    人呢!”约翰叔叔听后想想说:“你说的有道理,我看这钱你还是不要的好。”

    啤酒

      一位古板的老妇人有生以来第一次品尝啤酒。呷一口后,她疑惑地抬起头。“怪
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    领带的问题

      某人在沙漠中行进了大半天,口渴得直冒烟。在他快要走出沙漠时,遇到了一位
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    这个侍者很有礼貌地拒绝了他的要求。“什么!......”

    泄 露 天 机

      一青年遇劫,奋勇抵抗。激战之后,歹徒终于把青年制伏,一搜他的口袋,才有
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    不 妨

      在巴黎的时装店里。“我想把昨天在你们这里买的这件大衣换一换,因为我妻子
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    建议,您不妨把妻子换一换。”

    加 油 站

      非洲某城市郊外的汽车加油站贴出布告:“给油箱和油桶加油,仅此一地。往前
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    办了,你可能也被传染了。”“是的,可后来我又吻了我老婆。”“什么?”大夫大
    叫起来,“那我可能也被传染了。”

    我 仍 失 眠

      一个人失眠,找医生看病。医生说:“你睡觉前从1数到1000,就可以睡着了。”
    那人第二天,愁眉苦脸地来到医院说:“大夫,您说的方法根本不行。”“我昨天数
    到200时,就困了;我只好喝咖啡,当我数到1000时,我就一点也不困了。”

    不 失 时 机

      新婚不久的妻子向晚归的丈夫唠唠叨叨,丈夫解释说:"我是因为违反交通规
    则,才这么晚回来。明天我还得赶到警察局缴五百块钱的罚款,否则要被拘留一周
    。"妻子立即欣然地说道:"这倒是大好时机,我们的厨师刚刚辞职,你到那儿呆上
    一周,我正好利用这段时间找一个新厨师。"

    两 头 笨 驴

      农夫到学校去求见教师,想送他的儿子到学校念书。教师说:“委好,只是你要
    缴十个卢布的学费。”“什么?这么贵,十个卢布我可以用它买一头驴子。”教师回
    答道:“如果你真的用这些钱去买驴,而不让孩子上学那你们家就会再多两头笨驴
    !”

    谁 的 信 ?

      一对夫妇下午在家门口拾到一封信,是寄给他们的,打开一看:"今天我请你们看电
    影,算我们之间认识一周年..."后面没有署名,夫妇感到奇怪,晚上就拿着信封中的两
    张电影票去看电影了。等结束后回到家里,发现家中贵重物品被洗劫一空,在桌上有一
    封信,上写:你们知道是谁请你们看电影了吧?

    意外灾难

      有个手臂骨折的家人,向护士叙述发生意外的经过。他说那天他在田里工作,觉
    得胶鞋里有块石头,于是便在田间的高压塔旁,一手扶着铁塔,一边猛力摇着他的
    腿。碰巧有个工人经过,见他身体在拌动,以为他触电,便拾起木棍用力打他的手
    臂,于是他来到了医院。

    绘画的原因

      湖边,一个画家正在画画,身后来了一男一女两口子。他们看了一会儿,最后丈
    夫以无可辩驳的口吻对妻子说:“看见了吧,亲爱的,不买一个相机,该有多苦恼哇
    !”

    心 愿

      某死囚上刑场前,法官问他此时有何心愿。他说:“我此时最大的心愿是能够穿
    上防弹背心并戴上钢盔!”

    床单

      塞顿夫人怒气冲冲地闯进洗衣店,要求见店主。福尔顿先生从帘子后面
    探出头说:“我就是这儿的老板,您有事吗?”“有事?”火冒三丈的塞顿
    夫人道,“你居然有胆量称自己为洗衣大王?看看你们的杰作”说着往桌上
    扔了一条绳。“粗绳?”塞顿夫人几乎要爆炸了,“我拿来的是条床单!”

    闲聊

    A:你的马那次病了,你给它吃的是什么药?
    B:松节油。
    (过了几天,他们又相遇了)
    A:你上次说给马吃的是什么?
    B:松节油。
    A:那我的马吃了松节油,它怎么死了?
    B:我的马也死了。

    马后炮

      强盗用手枪逼着老板:“听着,把钱统统拿出来!”老板说:“真不
    凑巧,昨晚来的强盗把钱都拿走了。”强盗:“你这窝囊废,为什么不关
    紧门?!”

    无法挽回

      一天,一个将军正在用餐。吃到一半时,侍者惊叫一声:"啊,将
    军!...."将军盯着他说:"我吃饭时,你不应该说话。"大家都默不作
    声,等将军吃完了饭后,将军问侍者:"喂,你刚才要说什么?""太迟
    了,"侍者说。"发生了什么事?"将军急切地问。"刚才您的色拉里有
    一条虫子,您已经把它吃下去了。"

    回报

      一小群爱开玩笑的人经常在同一家饭馆里吃饭。他们总爱和侍者开玩
    笑,他们时而把水倒掉,却说侍者没送水来;时而把餐巾藏起来,等等。
    每一回他们都能想出新的花样,可侍者从不抱怨他们的这些行为。有一天,
    他们吃完饭,给了侍者一笔可观的小费,并且对他说:"你是个好样的,
    我们多次开你的玩笑,你也不生气,从今天起,我们再也不这样做了。"
    "谢了,"侍者说:"那我就再也不往你们的咖啡里掺鞋油了!"

    惊人的猜测

      一名男子正在饭店里津津有味地用餐。忽然,他发现墙角处有一条狗
    正目不转睛地盯着他。“那狗为什么老盯着我?”他问侍者。“我不知道,
    除非你用的是它平时进餐的盘子。”侍者回答。

    想得周到

      两个朋友外出。中午,两人该吃饭了。“你妻子想得真周到,为你准
    备怎么多吃的。”杰克羡慕地说。“你妻子想得更周到,每次你和我出来
    都不给你准备饭菜。”汤姆敬佩地说。

    女佣嫁人

      爸爸对女儿说:“你知道吗?我们家的女仆下周要结婚了!”女儿
    说:“这个凶女人要离开我们,我真是太高兴了,但不知道她要嫁给谁
    ?”爸爸尴尬的说:“她要作你的后妈了!”

    上帝的话

      一个信徒问道:"人死了都上天堂,难道天堂不会鬼多为患吗?"
    "不会的,因为在天堂里一个针尖就可站立上万个天使。"教士坦然地
    答道。"那么立足呢?"信徒还是不相信。教士正在思索,旁边一人说
    道:"上帝本来就站不住脚嘛!"

    不了解

      朋友两人在酒吧里,其中一人对另一人问到:"我妻子不了解我,你妻
    子呢?"另一个人答到:“我不知道,她从没提起过你。”

    不便直说

      一办事员叫住老板,不安地说:“董事长,我猜有您的电话。”“猜想?
    我的就是我的,还猜想什么!”办事员更加窘迫,结结巴巴地说:“来电话
    的人说,让那个老……老混蛋听电话……”

    入口

      警察在超级市场追捕窃贼,却发现窃贼已逃脱。“怎么搞的?我不是吩
    咐你们守住所有出口吗?”警员责怪部下。“我们都按你的吩咐做了。”一
    个警员答道,“只不过他是从入口逃掉的。”

    禁止近亲结婚

      夫妻吵架,妻子愤怒地嚷到:"我嫁给魔鬼也比嫁给你强!""这不
    可能,因为近亲禁止通婚。"丈夫马上反驳道。

    打鼾

      天刚黑,小约翰的父亲就上床睡了,那又粗又讨厌的鼾声炒得小约翰
    根本无法安心做作业。“喂!快醒醒,快醒醒!”小约翰使劲把父亲摇醒。
    “呸,我刚躺下,你瞎喊什么?!”老约翰发脾气了。“我看你打了两个
    小时的鼾,实在是太累了,叫你坐起来好好休息一下。”

    一片肥皂

       一个游客对女向导说:“你带我游览维也纳的风景,对
    我们帮助不少。我想送点礼物给你,你喜欢什么?”女向导
    非常贪婪,但又不便明言,所以只吞吞吐吐地说:“我喜欢
    打扮,嗯......给我一些耳朵、手指或者脖子上都用得上的东
    西吧!”第二天,游客送来了切下的一片肥皂。

    小的和大的

       晚上,三岁的爱尔克已躺在床上了。他请求母亲:“妈
    妈,给我一只苹果吧!”"孩子太晚了,苹果已经睡觉了。
    ""不,小的也许已睡了,但大的肯定没睡呢!"

    妻子的脑袋

       妻子对丈夫表示不满地说:“上帝呀!当初答应嫁给你
    时,我的脑袋哪儿去了?”“在我的肩头上。”丈夫立即回
    答。

    迟了

      在地铁里,一位男子发现扒手正在掏他的钱包,便幽默地说:
    “老兄,你来晚了!我今天虽然领了薪水,但我太太下手比你快
    多了!”

    徙手博斗

      教官给士兵示范如何徙手博斗,并最后从敌人那里夺过枪来
    打死了对方。然后他提问一个士兵,问:“若你在巡逻时碰到一
    个徙手的敌人,你该怎么办?”士兵想了一下,说:“我就赶快
    把枪扔了,这样他就拿不到枪来杀我了。”

    太不公平

      有个懒汉,什么事都不肯干,他求人给他介绍一个最轻松
    的工作。后来有人请他去看坟地,说没有比这更轻松的工作了。
    懒汉去了两天就回来了,他忿忿不平地说:"这工作一点不轻
    松!""为什么?""别人都躺着,只我一个站着。"

    雾都

    甲:据说伦敦是世界上雾最大的城市。
    乙:不对吧,我知道有一个城市,那里的雾比伦敦要大得多。
    甲:在哪儿呢?
    乙:这实在是没法告诉你,那里的雾大得什么都看不见。

    措辞不同

      红衣主教驾车飞弛,一名警察骑摩托追上把他拦住。主教
    问:“我的车开得太快了吗?”警察:“不,主教大人。您的
    车不是开得太快,而是飞得太慢。”

  7. 2013.10.04 02:24 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  8. krioivkz 2014.05.21 01:49 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  11. krmoygpj 2014.06.03 23:42 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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    下几块骨头。国王此时高声说道:"我会把女儿嫁给第一个游过去
    的人!"
    突然,"啪"的一声,一个青年跳进水池,他以飞快的速度游到了
    对岸。当他爬上来后,国王非常高兴地走过去,恭贺他说:"好样
    的,你一定很想娶我的女儿。"
    "是的!"这个脸色苍白但幸运的青年气急败坏地说:"我现在要
    知道的是,刚才是哪个混蛋把我推下去的!"

    误会

      一名欧洲游客在东京的商店里寻找运动衣的拉链。他用手势向一位女售货员比划
    好一阵子。终于,女售货员明白了,拿出了一把用于剖腹的剑放到柜台上。

    烟瘾太大

      在商店里,一位顾客对老板说:“我怀疑你的这架钢琴是翻新的二手货!你瞧,
    这象牙琴键都发黑了。”“天地良心,绝无此事。”老板解释道:“这完全是由于那
    头大象抽烟过多造成的。”

    傻瓜

      约翰叔叔来住了几天,临走时,掏出100先令对侄子汤姆说:”这钱你留着零花
    吧。记住,钱要收好,丢了可就白送人了。”汤姆激动地说:知道,傻瓜才把钱白送
    人呢!”约翰叔叔听后想想说:“你说的有道理,我看这钱你还是不要的好。”

    啤酒

      一位古板的老妇人有生以来第一次品尝啤酒。呷一口后,她疑惑地抬起头。“怪
    哉!”她小声地咕哝,“味道就跟我丈夫二十年来喝的药一模一样。”

    领带的问题

      某人在沙漠中行进了大半天,口渴得直冒烟。在他快要走出沙漠时,遇到了一位
    推销员。后者劝他买一条领带。他说:“你行行好吧,我渴得连衬衣都想撕开了,还
    买什么领带!”推销员讨了个没趣便走开了。这个可怜人总算在沙漠边上的一个小镇
    上找到了一家酒吧,他急不可待地要冲进去。于是他对门口的侍者说:“快给我点什
    么喝的吧!”他的喉咙都快枯哑了。“对不起,先生,不打领带者是不许进入的。”
    这个侍者很有礼貌地拒绝了他的要求。“什么!......”

    泄 露 天 机

      一青年遇劫,奋勇抵抗。激战之后,歹徒终于把青年制伏,一搜他的口袋,才有
    两块七毛钱。“难道你就为这点钱拼命?”歹徒问。“哎呀,”青年说:“早知道你
    只要这么点的话,我准会双手奉送。我还以为你要抢我藏在鞋里的三千块呢。”

    不 妨

      在巴黎的时装店里。“我想把昨天在你们这里买的这件大衣换一换,因为我妻子
    不喜欢。”“要知道,这可是当前最流行的。先生,如果你不介意的话,我倒有个好
    建议,您不妨把妻子换一换。”

    加 油 站

      非洲某城市郊外的汽车加油站贴出布告:“给油箱和油桶加油,仅此一地。往前
    所有的加油站都是海市蜃楼。”

    猩红热传染

      一个男子给医生打电话:“大夫,我儿子得了猩红热。”“我知道了。昨天我去
    看过他了,你恰巧不在家。把他隔离,别与家人接触就行了。”“哎,您不知道,他
    吻了女仆。”“太不幸了,她也必须隔离。”“但我又吻了她,大夫。”“那就不好
    办了,你可能也被传染了。”“是的,可后来我又吻了我老婆。”“什么?”大夫大
    叫起来,“那我可能也被传染了。”

    我 仍 失 眠

      一个人失眠,找医生看病。医生说:“你睡觉前从1数到1000,就可以睡着了。”
    那人第二天,愁眉苦脸地来到医院说:“大夫,您说的方法根本不行。”“我昨天数
    到200时,就困了;我只好喝咖啡,当我数到1000时,我就一点也不困了。”

    不 失 时 机

      新婚不久的妻子向晚归的丈夫唠唠叨叨,丈夫解释说:"我是因为违反交通规
    则,才这么晚回来。明天我还得赶到警察局缴五百块钱的罚款,否则要被拘留一周
    。"妻子立即欣然地说道:"这倒是大好时机,我们的厨师刚刚辞职,你到那儿呆上
    一周,我正好利用这段时间找一个新厨师。"

    两 头 笨 驴

      农夫到学校去求见教师,想送他的儿子到学校念书。教师说:“委好,只是你要
    缴十个卢布的学费。”“什么?这么贵,十个卢布我可以用它买一头驴子。”教师回
    答道:“如果你真的用这些钱去买驴,而不让孩子上学那你们家就会再多两头笨驴
    !”

    谁 的 信 ?

      一对夫妇下午在家门口拾到一封信,是寄给他们的,打开一看:"今天我请你们看电
    影,算我们之间认识一周年..."后面没有署名,夫妇感到奇怪,晚上就拿着信封中的两
    张电影票去看电影了。等结束后回到家里,发现家中贵重物品被洗劫一空,在桌上有一
    封信,上写:你们知道是谁请你们看电影了吧?

    意外灾难

      有个手臂骨折的家人,向护士叙述发生意外的经过。他说那天他在田里工作,觉
    得胶鞋里有块石头,于是便在田间的高压塔旁,一手扶着铁塔,一边猛力摇着他的
    腿。碰巧有个工人经过,见他身体在拌动,以为他触电,便拾起木棍用力打他的手
    臂,于是他来到了医院。

    绘画的原因

      湖边,一个画家正在画画,身后来了一男一女两口子。他们看了一会儿,最后丈
    夫以无可辩驳的口吻对妻子说:“看见了吧,亲爱的,不买一个相机,该有多苦恼哇
    !”

    心 愿

      某死囚上刑场前,法官问他此时有何心愿。他说:“我此时最大的心愿是能够穿
    上防弹背心并戴上钢盔!”

    床单

      塞顿夫人怒气冲冲地闯进洗衣店,要求见店主。福尔顿先生从帘子后面
    探出头说:“我就是这儿的老板,您有事吗?”“有事?”火冒三丈的塞顿
    夫人道,“你居然有胆量称自己为洗衣大王?看看你们的杰作”说着往桌上
    扔了一条绳。“粗绳?”塞顿夫人几乎要爆炸了,“我拿来的是条床单!”

    闲聊

    A:你的马那次病了,你给它吃的是什么药?
    B:松节油。
    (过了几天,他们又相遇了)
    A:你上次说给马吃的是什么?
    B:松节油。
    A:那我的马吃了松节油,它怎么死了?
    B:我的马也死了。

    马后炮

      强盗用手枪逼着老板:“听着,把钱统统拿出来!”老板说:“真不
    凑巧,昨晚来的强盗把钱都拿走了。”强盗:“你这窝囊废,为什么不关
    紧门?!”

    无法挽回

      一天,一个将军正在用餐。吃到一半时,侍者惊叫一声:"啊,将
    军!...."将军盯着他说:"我吃饭时,你不应该说话。"大家都默不作
    声,等将军吃完了饭后,将军问侍者:"喂,你刚才要说什么?""太迟
    了,"侍者说。"发生了什么事?"将军急切地问。"刚才您的色拉里有
    一条虫子,您已经把它吃下去了。"

    回报

      一小群爱开玩笑的人经常在同一家饭馆里吃饭。他们总爱和侍者开玩
    笑,他们时而把水倒掉,却说侍者没送水来;时而把餐巾藏起来,等等。
    每一回他们都能想出新的花样,可侍者从不抱怨他们的这些行为。有一天,
    他们吃完饭,给了侍者一笔可观的小费,并且对他说:"你是个好样的,
    我们多次开你的玩笑,你也不生气,从今天起,我们再也不这样做了。"
    "谢了,"侍者说:"那我就再也不往你们的咖啡里掺鞋油了!"

    惊人的猜测

      一名男子正在饭店里津津有味地用餐。忽然,他发现墙角处有一条狗
    正目不转睛地盯着他。“那狗为什么老盯着我?”他问侍者。“我不知道,
    除非你用的是它平时进餐的盘子。”侍者回答。

    想得周到

      两个朋友外出。中午,两人该吃饭了。“你妻子想得真周到,为你准
    备怎么多吃的。”杰克羡慕地说。“你妻子想得更周到,每次你和我出来
    都不给你准备饭菜。”汤姆敬佩地说。

    女佣嫁人

      爸爸对女儿说:“你知道吗?我们家的女仆下周要结婚了!”女儿
    说:“这个凶女人要离开我们,我真是太高兴了,但不知道她要嫁给谁
    ?”爸爸尴尬的说:“她要作你的后妈了!”

    上帝的话

      一个信徒问道:"人死了都上天堂,难道天堂不会鬼多为患吗?"
    "不会的,因为在天堂里一个针尖就可站立上万个天使。"教士坦然地
    答道。"那么立足呢?"信徒还是不相信。教士正在思索,旁边一人说
    道:"上帝本来就站不住脚嘛!"

    不了解

      朋友两人在酒吧里,其中一人对另一人问到:"我妻子不了解我,你妻
    子呢?"另一个人答到:“我不知道,她从没提起过你。”

    不便直说

      一办事员叫住老板,不安地说:“董事长,我猜有您的电话。”“猜想?
    我的就是我的,还猜想什么!”办事员更加窘迫,结结巴巴地说:“来电话
    的人说,让那个老……老混蛋听电话……”

    入口

      警察在超级市场追捕窃贼,却发现窃贼已逃脱。“怎么搞的?我不是吩
    咐你们守住所有出口吗?”警员责怪部下。“我们都按你的吩咐做了。”一
    个警员答道,“只不过他是从入口逃掉的。”

    禁止近亲结婚

      夫妻吵架,妻子愤怒地嚷到:"我嫁给魔鬼也比嫁给你强!""这不
    可能,因为近亲禁止通婚。"丈夫马上反驳道。

    打鼾

      天刚黑,小约翰的父亲就上床睡了,那又粗又讨厌的鼾声炒得小约翰
    根本无法安心做作业。“喂!快醒醒,快醒醒!”小约翰使劲把父亲摇醒。
    “呸,我刚躺下,你瞎喊什么?!”老约翰发脾气了。“我看你打了两个
    小时的鼾,实在是太累了,叫你坐起来好好休息一下。”

    一片肥皂

       一个游客对女向导说:“你带我游览维也纳的风景,对
    我们帮助不少。我想送点礼物给你,你喜欢什么?”女向导
    非常贪婪,但又不便明言,所以只吞吞吐吐地说:“我喜欢
    打扮,嗯......给我一些耳朵、手指或者脖子上都用得上的东
    西吧!”第二天,游客送来了切下的一片肥皂。

    小的和大的

       晚上,三岁的爱尔克已躺在床上了。他请求母亲:“妈
    妈,给我一只苹果吧!”"孩子太晚了,苹果已经睡觉了。
    ""不,小的也许已睡了,但大的肯定没睡呢!"

    妻子的脑袋

       妻子对丈夫表示不满地说:“上帝呀!当初答应嫁给你
    时,我的脑袋哪儿去了?”“在我的肩头上。”丈夫立即回
    答。

    迟了

      在地铁里,一位男子发现扒手正在掏他的钱包,便幽默地说:
    “老兄, http://www.minvikingsshop.com/ Vikings Peterson Elite Jersey,你来晚了!我今天虽然领了薪水,但我太太下手比你快
    多了!”

    徙手博斗

      教官给士兵示范如何徙手博斗,并最后从敌人那里夺过枪来
    打死了对方。然后他提问一个士兵,问:“若你在巡逻时碰到一
    个徙手的敌人,你该怎么办?”士兵想了一下,说:“我就赶快
    把枪扔了,这样他就拿不到枪来杀我了。”

    太不公平

      有个懒汉,什么事都不肯干,他求人给他介绍一个最轻松
    的工作。后来有人请他去看坟地,说没有比这更轻松的工作了。
    懒汉去了两天就回来了,他忿忿不平地说:"这工作一点不轻
    松!""为什么?""别人都躺着,只我一个站着。"

    雾都

    甲:据说伦敦是世界上雾最大的城市。
    乙:不对吧,我知道有一个城市,那里的雾比伦敦要大得多。
    甲:在哪儿呢?
    乙:这实在是没法告诉你,那里的雾大得什么都看不见。

    措辞不同

      红衣主教驾车飞弛,一名警察骑摩托追上把他拦住。主教
    问:“我的车开得太快了吗?”警察:“不,主教大人。您的
    车不是开得太快,而是飞得太慢。”

  14. 三用表校准仪 2013.02.02 23:22 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  15. cheap nike shoes 2013.02.05 03:02 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  16. Jordan Release Dates 2013 2013.02.07 14:28 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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    |陛下的健康状况:良好的时候,这一年在康涅狄格州れ去年也是这样,从外形上广场:帝国线れ。”教育科学碳酸盐丹设备提供:去年,连同其他在同一时间开始,所以从棕榈屋仪式代码生成れ是长。

    线。

    ,在早上后女王陛下:康涅狄格州和新一年的情况下保持“祝贺”的工具,并れ是亲。脚:夫妇:从皇家宴会你将它。科学是安倍晋三总理~三长,内阁成员,成员大会,认证官和4回分公司~特殊日本大使,下午在康涅狄格州,它是|推出。|





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  17. hollister madrid 2013.02.12 20:11 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    "Alerta" nivel (HMS Astute) submarinos súper sigilo jpg remolcadores izquierda "astuto" encallado No. ubicación diagrama esquemático de Red Global reportero Zhu Ying biblioteca de 04 de noviembre, los informes de los Reinos Unidos más avanzados de nueva generación "inteligente" de clase (HMS Astute) super submarinos furtivos atracó el mes pasado llegó a las rocas, y más tarde los remolcadores de rescate se estrelló accidentalmente. De acuerdo con el británico "Daily Telegraph" informó el día 4, "clase Astute nuclear prueba de mar submarino días 22 de octubre piedras a la orilla de una de la costa oeste de Escocia se ha quedado atascado. Informó que el submarino fue varado en la Isla de Skye costa, pero por la tarde, la marea lo rescató. Sin embargo, http://www.hollistermadridtiendas.net hollister madrid tiendas, al parecer, http://www.hollistermadridtiendas.net/hollister-ancho-playa-camisetas-azul-p_85.html Hollister Ancho Playa Camisetas Azul, el remolcador Anglian Prince, patrullas costeras fue enviado a aliviar el submarino accidentalmente a su atravesó. Marítimo británico y portavoz de Guardacostas dijo: "Podemos confirmar que la accidente submarino remolcador Guardia ocurre, estamos investigando el asunto, http://www.hcoespana.com hollister españa. "British Navy, dijo un portavoz, submarino de la clase astuto nuclear y el remolcador chocaron, antes de que el timón de estribor submarino está dañado."

  18. rfid 2013.02.14 17:11 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  19. abercrombie pas cher 2013.02.15 16:52 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  20. Packers Women's Jersey 2013.02.20 10:15 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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    一位先生对别人说:我太太和我意见不和。她想要一件毛皮大衣,而我想要一部新
    车。
    最后我们互相妥协了,买一件毛皮大衣,然后把它收到车库里。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    吉姆,在你家里谁是一家之主?珍妮掌管孩子,狗和鹦鹉。而我为金鱼制定法律。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    一个老人和一个年轻漂亮的女郎坠入情网,但是这位老人无论如何不愿意娶她为妻。
    亲爱的,我不能娶你,他温柔地对她说,父亲和母亲会反对。
    什么!你已经这么大年纪了,父母还健在吗?
    不,不是,他纠正说:我的意思是指父亲的时机和母亲的天性。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    我问一个年轻小伙子是否打算结婚,他对我说:我要一直保持单身生涯,一直等到我
    遇见和我祖父娶的一样的女孩。但是现在的女孩和从前可大不相同了。我警告他。当
    然是不同了,他说:祖父是昨天才和她结婚的,他们是在迪斯科舞会上认识的。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    心理医生问病人:你是否听到一些声音,但却不知道谁在讲话,也不知道声音从哪里
    传来?
    是的。
    那是什么时候发生这种情形?
    我去接电话的时候。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    妻子(对丈夫):今年圣诞节,让我们互赠美好的礼物,象领带啦,毛皮大衣啦……

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    丈夫(对心理医生):我妻子最近产生了自卑情绪,我要怎么做才能使她保持下去?

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    妻子(在脱掉一个孩子的最后一层冬衣后):乔治,他不是我们的孩子!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    一栋公寓的一扇窗户上写着:转让小号
    而隔壁一家的窗户上写着:感谢上帝

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    爸爸

    一位孤苦无依的孕妇昏倒在一所医院门口,被医师救了进去,她即将临盆却又难产,
    医师帮她生下一个男婴而母亲不治死亡,临终前她恳求医师一定要帮她的小孩找到一
    户人家收养,医师想了一下终於点头答应了。
    同一个时间有一位神父因为肚子里长了一颗寻常狯到医院来割除,医师就骗他说他生
    了一个小孩,神父很高兴地说:真是上帝的赐与。便把小孩抱回去抚养;时间一过就
    是二十年,小婴孩终於长大成人,神父却一病不起,他自觉不久於人世,有一天就把
    那孩子叫到床前说:儿呀!我快要死了,有件事你一定要知道,其实我不是你真正的
    爸爸…我是你妈,你真正的爸爸就是隔壁教区的那个神父…

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    安全带

    空姐向乘客广播:“女士们,先生们,请扣好安全带。飞机马上就要起飞。”飞机起
    飞后,喇叭里又传来空姐的声音。“请将安全带扣紧一些。很抱歉,今天的早餐,我
    们忘记装上飞机了。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    证据

    律师质问交通警察:“一个人跪在马路中间就能证明他是喝醉酒了吗?”“当然不
    能,
    先生,”交通警察回答,“可是这位先生跪在马路中间要把涂在马路中央的那条白线
    卷起来。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    因人而异

    佛雷把刚买的高尔夫球用具拿给朋友看:“我和太太都胖了一点,医生说主要是运动
    量不足,为此我准备加入高尔夫俱乐部。”“那你太太呢?”“我已买了一部剪草机
    给她。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    猫价浮动

    在市场上,一位顾客问:“喂!这只猫多少钱?”
    “先生,100法郎。”
    “可昨天您只要20法郎。”
    “因为今天早晨它吃了我家一只价值80法郎的鹦鹉。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    味觉胜过记性

    玛丽安和韦伯是一对恩爱的老年夫妇。
    一天清晨,玛丽安对韦伯说:“亲爱的,我有点饿了,我想在床上吃些东西。”
    “你想吃什么呢?”丈夫面带笑容地问。
    “我想吃巧克力冰滇淋,”妻子说。
    “好吧,我这就去拿,”丈夫爽快地答应了。
    “等一下,韦伯,”妻子请求道,“你最好在巧克力上放一些奶油,你肯定记住了
    吗?
    要不然你就写在纸上吧。”
    “放心吧,我记住了,”丈夫肯定地说。
    韦伯刚起身下楼,又听到了玛丽安的大嗓门:“我还要两个红色的甜樱桃。”
    过了大约一刻钟光景,韦伯回到了卧室,把一个火腿三明治递给了玛丽安,她咬了一
    口,然后皱起眉头说道:“韦伯,你又忘了放芥末!”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    让他为难

    弗林德夫人执意要请一位画家为她画一幅半身肖像。“画上的我要佩戴钻石项链、绿
    宝石手镯、纯金耳环和红宝石挂件。”她坚决地对画家说。“夫人,可您实际上并没
    有佩戴这些贵重的物品呀。”画家认真地说。“这你用不着管,”弗林德夫人说,
    “我这样做是有道理的,我平时身体不太好,我怕万一我死得比丈夫早,而他肯定很
    快就会另娶一个年轻貌美的女人为妻。有了这幅画,他就难以向新娘讲清这些贵重物
    品的去向了。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    重40磅

    一名妇女正在哭哭啼啼地向她的心理医生倾诉着内心的痛苦:“我丈夫去世前,我们
    在一起生活了25年。”她边说边抹去一行悲痛的眼泪。“我们之间从来没发生过一
    次争吵。”
    “是吗?这简直有些不可思议,”医生半信半疑地说。“你们是怎么做到这一点的
    呢?”
    “瞧,我的体重要比他重40磅。而且,他又是一个生性懦弱的人。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    没有妻子的生活
    两个男人在谈论他们的妻子。
    杰克:“你是否想过没有她你会怎样生活?”
    马丁:“开销更少。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    验证

    詹金斯先生和他的妻子在吃早餐时,为家庭琐事互不相让而大吵起来。“你不会料理
    家务,也从不为别人着想。犴外,你在床上的表现也太差劲了!”丈夫气愤地奚落
    道。
    说完,他气乎乎地拿着公事包去上班了。中午,詹金斯先生有些后悔,觉得不该讲那
    些话来伤害妻子。于是,他拨通了家里的电话。可是铃声一直在响,却没有人接。就
    在詹金斯先生打算挂断电话时,他妻子才拎起了听筒。“你怎么这么长时间才接电
    话?”
    丈夫问。“我正在床上呢,”妻子懒洋洋地回答。“现在你在床上于什么?”丈夫接
    着又问。“我正在验证你早晨说的那一句话呢!”妻子回答。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    去巴黎

    一家大航空公司的订票处接到了一位女士打来的问讯电话。“我想知道我丈夫霍普金
    斯先生是否买过飞往纽约的机票。”她急切地问道。“没错,霍普金斯先生买了去纽
    约的机票,20分钟之前,他还
    预订了两张飞往巴哈马群岛的机票。”接待小姐热情地答复。“巴哈马群岛!”女士
    提高了嗓门,“可他刚才来电话却说,纽约的事办完后他还要去新泽西州呆上两周
    呢。”
    停顿了一会儿,她说道:“我想订一张机票。”“飞往巴哈马群岛吗?”接待小姐
    问。
    “不,”女士说,“去巴黎。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    改变习惯

    吉米说他实在看不惯他妻子的有些行为。他真想让她彻底改变一种习惯――呼吸。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    准备早餐

    “亲爱的,你只要再准备一下烤面包和咖啡,我们就可以吃早饭了,”新娘含情脉脉
    地对新郎说。
    “早饭都有点什么?”新郎问。“烤面包和咖啡。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    生搬硬套

    丈夫:你怎么搞的?这牛肉馅饼没有烧熟。
    妻子:可我是按照烹调书烧的呀,食谱上的做法是供四个人吃的,而我们只有两个
    人,
    所以我就减去了一半的料儿,当然啦,烧的时间也比书上讲的少了一半。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    不可睡

    ?

  21. www.hkfsc.net/company/default.asp 2013.12.16 02:50 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    有一天,小白兔mm出去玩,回家时迷路了,走到一个三岔路口,正好来了一只小灰兔。白兔妹妹就问道:“灰兔哥哥,妹妹迷路了,能告诉我怎么走吗?”灰兔见白兔妹妹单身一人,便不怀好意的说:“想知道吗?”白兔说:“当然想知道哪,你快说吧。”灰兔说:“想知道,就让哥高兴高兴!”。于是,白兔让灰兔高兴了高兴,完事后,灰兔一指左边,白兔于是向前走了。一会儿,白兔又来到了一个三岔路口,这可怎么办,正好又来了一只小黑兔,于是,白兔妹妹就问道:“黑兔哥哥,妹妹迷路了,能告诉我怎么走吗?”黑兔见白兔妹妹单身一人,也便不怀好意的说:“想知道吗?”白兔说:“当然想知道哪,你快说吧。”黑兔说:“想知道,就让哥高兴高兴!”。于是,白兔让黑兔高兴了高兴,完事后,灰兔一指左边,白兔于是向前走了。白兔回到家,不久后,生下了一窝小兔子,你猜一猜,小兔子是什么颜色?猜对我请客。有人猜是白色,你说不对有人猜是黑色,你说不对,再猜,猜是灰色,你说不对,再猜猜是杂色,你说还不对.........有人问:那你说是什么颜色你说,想知道吗?他说:想知道你说:想知道?hehe先让哥高兴高兴

 

 

안녕하세요, 바이리뷰입니다.

 

하나마이 플라센타 보떼 리뷰어를 발표합니다.

 

하하루루
슬린씨
두근두근
그녀랑
레이라
슈퍼우먼
하늘이햐
병맘
소야지
요닝

 

체험단에 선발되신 모든 분들께 축하의 인사를 드리며, 아울러 좋은 리뷰를 작성해주시길 바랍니다.

신청해주신 모든 분들께 감사의 인사를 드립니다.

항상 바이리뷰를 응원해주셔서 감사합니다.

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  2. 开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子 2013.01.04 17:49 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply




    人民群众在揭露了开封强奸劳改犯汪海洋以维权为名搞诈骗的事后,其中涉及到胡星斗先生,汪海洋公开承认收了钱,网友们要求其列个名细表,汪海洋始终不敢列。胡先生说自己没收钱,参加会的也没有收钱,那好,就算你们没收钱,我们在此问一下,汪海洋这种行为该当何罪?群众拿很多钱是要求解决问题的,不是让开什么会的。

    其中参加会的还有什么养生会馆的人,还有什么"中国艺术研究院的国学辣妹妹"........国学辣妹是干什么去了?你们不感觉可笑吗?

    其中有《人民维权网》记者,这种网站是非法的,非法的单位的,其人也是非法的人,非法的人的活动也是非法的!!!这道理胡先生能不懂?汪海洋邀请你参加会时,会议什么内容参加的都是什么人难道你不要事先了解一下?



    你不认识汪海洋?汪海洋个人的网站上, 你可是第一顾问,也是唯一的顾问!!!社会现实生活中,稍微有点身份的人谁会给一个强奸劳改犯当顾问???全中国也只有你胡先生一人啊!



    你知道汪海洋父子以维权为名骗过的有多少人吗?仅河南省就有上百人,这些人早就在网上将汪海洋父子揭发了,汪海洋父子恼羞成怒,对揭发他们父子的人破口大骂。您可能会问这些人为什么相信一个强奸劳改犯,大家就是因为看到大名鼎鼎的您在当顾问,而且汪海洋说您专门解决大事,是中国的一些法律的修改人,能直接见胡温,所以大家才找他维权。请您在百度里输入开封汪海洋,看看揭发他们父子的有多少人!!!

    您不知道汪狗父子骂了多少人?那我们随便给您提供一些名单:

    泌阳老曹、周口现代、周口残疾人、天问、黑脸大眼、车骑将军、zxb2007、时间007、王文杰、王一川(大河网新闻中心记者)、中原侠客(大河网网民记者)、海蓝蓝、大河采风、九歌[大河网贵宾],燕子飞飞[大河网贵宾],ZXB2007[大河网贵宾],为民[大河网焦点版前斑竹],于无声处[大河网南阳版前斑竹],一叶方舟[大河网网友记者],时间007,伸张正义,黑脸大眼,农家女[大河前斑竹],。。。[女,大河网网友记者],,王文杰,海蓝蓝,大河采风,游客[大河论坛前主要管理人员],莫尼卡[大河论坛前主要管理人员],每个角落[大河论坛管理人员]等近百人。

    这些人都被汪海洋骂为:骗子,流氓,坏蛋。



    依据《中华人民共和国民法通则》第五条 公民、法人的合法的民事权益受法律保护,任何组织和个人不得侵犯。第一百零一条 公民、法人享有名誉权,公民的人格尊严受法律保护,禁止用侮辱、诽谤等方式损害公民、法人的名誉。汪海洋的侮辱、诽谤等方式已损害公民、法人的名誉,将承担因此而引起的法律后果。



    4.汪海洋所谓的维权方式是:让集体反映情况的当事人集资数万元,然后派个代表,由汪海洋约上几个人在北京召开个所谓的学术研讨会之类,拍个照就算完事了,也不当啥用。这不是骗人吗?很多农民听汪海洋自称是中国的法律专家,他一参加这个会事就解决了。可等农民花了几万元钱,实际上没一点作用,这不是骗人吗?



    一:2007年8月3日关于广东东莞横沥镇月塘村土地征用补偿费案例座谈会,是汪海洋去找农民组织的,让农民集资,在北京开了一个所谓的土地研讨会,不知汪海洋分了多少钱?



    二:2008年9月27日关于河南省汝州市临汝镇坡池村村治一案的学术研讨会,是汪海洋去找村主任张永周组织的,不知汪海洋父子要了多少钱,更不知汪海洋父子分了钱之后这样搪塞一下村民良心可安?



    三:2009-10月30日,汪海洋以维权为名,骗取湖南省洞口县270户村民8万元,在吃了喝了拿了旅游一番之后,到现在没了下 文。



    四:山东临沂地区300余名被错误下放的教师的权益需要维护,汪海洋前去找老教师谈判,然后由几名老教师代表,于2010年6月12日在北京参加了所谓的学术会,开后就没了下文!

    汪海洋在网上承认所有费用由老教师集资的。网友们让其列个明细表,但汪海洋一直不敢列。



    4.以维权为名骗周口市公安局印章厂魏德钊同志3枚金印章,一本古书。据魏德钊讲:3枚金印章总价值可达9千元。



    在很多情况下,汪海洋在对当事人吃过喝过拿过之后,说无权可维。如果给无权可维的人维权是不是诈骗、行骗?维权人明知无权可维,又不尽告知义务,反而引导当事人、并继续受其委托、收受费用,其行为为欺诈、诈骗、行骗行为。

    无权可维,不尽告知义务=欺骗、诈骗、行骗

    被委托后不尽其维权责任===涉嫌欺诈、哄骗

    可以确认汪海洋借维权之名行骗。



    这些人其中一部分可以联系到,如:

    魏德钊 电话:13603875911 住址:周口市建设中路180号,原周口市公安局印章厂厂长

    被辱骂过的一会儿些人联系方式:

    曹辉 13323964976 13343964855住址:驻马店泌阳县文明路中段

    李孟平,驻马店人, 电话:13683896133. 邮箱:teio@163.com

    程军锋:13837192727 ,邮箱:cjf5188@163.com

    王一川 wang13703971779@126.com(大河网新闻中心网民记者)

    张胜卫13837513317(禹州人,其父亲被汪海洋无辜骂成骗子、黑社会)

    大河网版主:为民

    金博大律师事务所赵律师,曾代理过大河网与汪海洋的官司,认为汪根本不懂法律,胡搅谩缠。

    张艳琴,女,汉族,13526552574,住郑州市金水区庙李镇张家村142号(因汪海洋辱骂自己是娼妇将汪告上法庭) 。

    新乡市几位农民被汪海洋以维权为名骗走2000元后就没了下文,打汪海洋电话不接。

    新乡被骗农民电话请与上述人联系即可



    汪海洋父子办有两个网站:

    1.汪海洋公民维权网



    E-mail:kfwhy@126.com

    电话:0378-2581580 2581581 手机:13069333953

    网站上全是骂人帖子,不给钱不删帖

    2.开封恒远商务投资咨询中心地址: 河南开封河南省开封市学院门街23号外贸大厦802-803室

    电话: 86-378-2552666

    手机: 13069333953

    此网站未经工信部备案(属于非法网站,属于公安机关打击对象),税费、产品交易、也没记录,这应该购成诈骗。



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    Yuri Huang in the sun is quite active,ambition see the hospital architecture in front of the fountain, a moment to see in full bloom blossom garden . She is be . Yuri Huang Qiu Changcheng said backward the episode,Yuri Huang was successively sent apt Guangzhou three hospital treatment ,in July 2nd and September 30th two craniotomy operation -- the first left craniotomy ,removed 12.
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    Wade out sibling Zhou Qiang Yuri Huang to dilate treatment regimens for the use of capital control technology to restore the function of brain cells amend sequelae and fix of skull .
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    Qi Zhanjiang, two in Panyu, a state-owned, the last two every month proceeds adds up to 5000 yuan backward the episode of two folk has suspended work.In order apt a standing ovation Yuri Huang ,his and Yuri Huang uncle have abandon the private go,with Yuri Huang parents in Tongjiang hospital approximate the village of rental .
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    Combined with Yuri Huang grandpa deserving apt cardiorespiratory failure liberate ineffective death one behind repeatedly,the changes and the big medicinal expenses about overwhelmed Qiu Changcheng couples .
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      某地估计计划生育阻力较大,有关部门便刷了条标语:“喝药不夺瓶,上吊就给绳。”
      湖北阳新地区的计划生育标语也很形象很彪悍:“通不通,三分钟;再不通,龙卷风。”
      安徽某地:“坚决打击流产女婴。”好一条中国特色的标语。
      贵州倒是婉转温柔:“朋友,你计划生育了吗?”
      北京某远郊区:“少生孩子多种树,少生孩子多养猪。”
      在山西看到的版本是:“山区人民要想富,少生孩子多种树。”
      最绝的是东三省版本:“农村想不穷,少生孩子养狗熊。”
      湖南某乡政府:“结贫穷的扎,上致富的环。”
      湖北某火葬场门口:“经济搞上去,人口降下来。”
      我们不得不说到法制,有不少也让人哭笑不得:
      在河北看到一条标语:“武装抗税是非法行为。”它意思似乎是说,和平抗税是合法的。
      汪口的一面墙上张牙舞爪用红色油漆写着几个飘逸大字:“谁烧山,谁坐牢。”
      这是在贵州的施秉看到的,也挺经典的:“放火烧山,牢底坐穿。”
      在河南永城看到一标语:“不怕死的就到十八里乡来作案。”够直白!
      安徽亳州向南的公路上一条标语:“私设路障违法,拦路抢劫判刑。”
      在铁路上看到的:“横卧铁轨,不死也要负上法律责任。”真是经典。
      某电厂门口大红字标语更绝:“严禁触摸电线, http://www.nbabigstore.com/ Swingman Jersey,5万伏高压,一触即死,违者法办。”
      在河南的国道上看见的超劲爆的一条:“抢劫警车是违法的!“类似的还有“不得袭击警车!。”
      十年前过湖南衡阳,车窗外闪过如下标语:“坚决打击挑脚筋。”看得人浑身发毛,不寒而栗。
      有条保护光缆的:“偷割光缆,讨死。”
      江西某地就似乎没有这么粗俗:“光缆无铜,偷盗有罪。”
      在山东看到的标语:“光缆不含铜,偷盗要判刑。”
      有个最最消极的:“光纤没铜,偷也没用。”没有铜,大概也应该有点别的什么金属,也能卖钱,真是爆笑至极!
      在浙江一座尼姑庵的墙外,写着:“偷税漏税,来世罚作尼姑。”姑且不说对出家人的侮辱,至少我看到尼姑,就觉得她们身上都藏着前世带来的钱财。
      再来看看其他的吧,其实,一些看似平常的标语也容易产生“笑”果:
      安徽,归还农业贷款的标语:“人死债不烂,父债子来还。”
      去黑龙江,估计当地招商引资有困难,看到:“谁侵犯投资者,谁就是人民的罪人。”
      证券公司标语:“教育投资者!”
      河北某地:“不娶文盲妻,不嫁文盲汉!”
      普及义务教育:“养女不读书,不如养头猪!养儿不读书,就象养头驴!”
      贵州铜仁,在去梵净山的路上一个屠宰场的标语:“以三个代表指导我们的屠宰工作。”
      厦门鼓浪屿附近招揽至金门之观光码头旁:“违法越界观光,小心枪弹扫光。”
      农村信用社:“农村信用社是老百性生活的贴心人。”
      山东省济宁市至汶上县公路旁某乡镇巨型横幅:“集体***违法、越级***可耻。”愚民已到了令人发指的地步。
      某校:“热烈欢迎人大代表来我校明察暗访。”
      山东日照市大标语:“热烈欢迎全国某某系统领导来日。”
      更绝的是重庆人和镇一配种场的标语:人和良种猪配种场。
      贫困县的基层班干部标语:“我们的工作重点是管好两个口,填上面的口,堵下面的口”
      某地领导的口号是:“你们要淡薄名利,要加强廉政建设。”
      重庆巫山县路口:“外地车辆在巫山境内一般不被处罚。”
      国人对“要致富,快修路。“应该耳熟能详,但在河南某铁路沿线被人改得极其反动“要致富,偷铁路!”
      单位司机班门口:“马达一响,集中思想,车轮一动,想到群众。”
      上海浦东新区浦东大道两侧的旗帜:“垃圾分类,从我做起。”自己倒先成垃圾了!
      动物园标语:“保护野生动物就是保护我们自己。”成动物总比成垃圾好。
      某养殖场:“敬爱的各界群众,请携带你们的发情母牛前来配种。”
      路边小店:“吃饭补胎。”
      广东南海市盐步镇内衣厂很多,产品畅销全世界。有段时间在镇政府围墙上刷了一条标语:“发展内衣制造业是我们的基本国策。”真是语不惊人誓不休!
      南宁一草坪立有一牌子:第一行写:“开展创造”第二行写:“性的活动。”
      一拐角处用白粉刷的标语:“投案自首是犯罪”,大吃一惊,拐弯过去接着写道:“份子的唯一出路”
      另个经典的是上面写:“群众有困”下面是:“难找警察”,我想意思大概是:群众有困难的时候,很难找到警察!
      十五大后提出若干口号,据说某地将标语挂在公路上之后有如此效果……“高举DXP理论伟大旗帜!”,旁边路牌:“限高5.6米”;“紧密地团结在以JZM同志为核心的党中央的周围!”,旁边路牌:“请保持距离”;“加快改革开放步伐。”旁边路牌:“限速80公里/小时。”;“沿着有中国特色的社会主义道路走下去。”旁边路牌:“此处可调头。”
      除了这些奇怪的口号,那些我们司空见惯的标语,倘若细想起来,也往往问题甚多:
      建筑工地上常见这样的标语:“大干**天,工程提前完。”不知道非要把有严格施工标准的工程提前“完”的这个“完”是“完成”呢?还是“完蛋。”
      比如十字路口写着:“红灯时请您停车。”,但我想假如一个人连红灯都不在意的话,这个口号他更是不屑一顾了。
      公共厕所里写着:“请您便溺入池。”我不懂一个人即然已经花钱进了公共厕所,为什么还要在里面随地便溺。
      倒是一所大学的厕所里一条外国留学生写的标语让我觉得格外触目:“中国同学,请你便后冲水。”
      大家以后出门旅行路上尽可留心些,可以收集到更多精彩的标语。说不定日后历史学家编写《中国标语史》的时候便也能勉强占个一席之地。++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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  4. Guild Wars 2 Gold 2013.01.05 14:02 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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    这牧师为这头驴非常高兴,于是他再一次拿它去参赛,这次可不得了,这头驴一下
    夺了个冠军。第二天,镇上的各大报竞相报道:

        PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT

    这事儿让本教区的红衣主教听说了,主教非常担心牧师这样的抛头露面会给教会乃
    至整个教区带来无数的负面影响。所以,主教下令让这个牧师别再拿这头驴赛马。
    哪知这回报纸上却又说:

        BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PREACHER'S
        ASS

    主教一看,更是吓坏了。这还得了!于是主教下令,干脆让这个牧师把这头驴拿去
    处理算了,省得日后添乱。牧师出于无奈,只好把这头驴送给了附近修道院的修女
    们。没想到,第二天镇上各报在头版头条,争相报道:

       。危眨巍。龋粒印。拢牛樱浴。粒樱印。桑巍。裕希祝?
    主教听说,吓得心脏病发着,昏了过去。救活过来后,主教告诉修道院的修女,无
    论如何得把这头惹事儿的驴给扔了。修女没有办法,碰巧有个农夫正想买头驴,就
    花了十块钱将它从修女那里买走了。这还没完,报子这回就声称:

        NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR 10 BUCKS

    结果次日,教区为红衣主教的瘁然仙逝发了一个沉痛讣告。

    (译者:“黑旋风”鲤鱼)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        二、修女的心愿

    三位修女死后,都升天进了天堂,正好一同来到天堂的大门前。圣?彼得站在那里
    恭恭敬敬地欢迎她们的到来。圣?彼得一一向她们道贺,祝贺她们作为上帝在人间
    的仆从,以她们辛勤的工作和无私的献身精神,给人间带来了无数的温暖和幸福,
    最后灵魂能够得到超升进入天堂,得到从此永远与上帝住在一起的光荣。圣?彼得
    最后说,由于她们的贡献特别出色,上帝答应给她们每人一个奖赏,让她们每人都
    有机会再回到世上活二十四小时,成为任何一个她们愿意选择去作的人。圣?彼得
    特别强调,上帝答应无论她们想成为任何古往今来的人物,他都无条件地满足她们
    的愿望。

    三位修女听罢圣?彼得这么一讲,无不个个都对上帝如此的器重和恩典,感动得热
    泪盈眶,口呼哈利路亚对上帝称谢不已。圣?彼得解释说,你们过去为了上帝的事
    业作出了巨大的牺牲和奉献,现今让你们重回人间,作任何一个你们想要成为的人
    ,在一天之内,体验一下你们过去由于献身上帝的事业而没有机会去过的普通凡人
    的生活,怎么着都不算过份。

    第一位修女想了又想,最后告诉圣?彼得说,她想去拉斯维加斯的Rivera的
    表演厅作那个著名的舞女,圣?彼得二话没说,卟的一声,就把她变到人间作舞女
    去了。第二位修女一瞧,心里颇有些不服气,于是决定要趁此机会也去当一天脱星
    艳星玛多娜过过瘾,圣?彼得依然没二话,卟的一声把她也变到世上去了。

    轮到第三位修女的时候,她红着脸儿支支唔唔了半天,就是不好意思开口说出来。
    圣?彼得在一傍开导劝慰她,让她千万不要错过和放弃这种千载难逢的好机会。要
    知道,圣?彼得说,进天堂的修女无数,真正能让上帝大垂青眼得到如些恩典的可
    是没几个。你难道没见前面两位修女,即使是想作一些下贱和堕落的人物,上帝不
    也都照旧恩准嘛。有啥心愿说出来就是,上帝是万能和仁慈的,没有什么要不求不
    能满足。

    这位修女想了想,觉得也有道理,于是终于开口告诉圣?彼得,她想成为佛吉尼亚
    ?皮帕丽尼(Virginia Peepalini)。可是圣?彼得骋勺约?没听清
    楚,让修女在自己耳边再大一点儿声复述一遍,还是这个名字。圣?彼得觉
    得很莫名其妙,为什么自己从没听说过这个名字,他反反复复查了查所有世上古往
    今来的人的花名册,可就还是找不到这个人的名字,可若是没这个人,他就没法照
    这个人的样把这位修女变到世上去。最后,圣?彼得实在没办法,只好厚着脸皮下
    问,想知道这个佛吉尼亚?皮帕丽尼到底是谁,可她竟也摇摇头说她也不知道佛吉
    尼亚?皮帕丽尼是谁。圣?彼得这给气的,说既然连你也不认识这人,那你到底是
    从哪儿听来的这个名字?

    修女依旧红着脸,从黑袍底下深处的内衣中,掏出一张似乎珍藏了很久、破旧而发
    黄的剪报来,圣?彼得接过来一瞧,原来那是一张几十年前的新闻报道,那条新闻
    的大标题用斗大的字写着:

    VIRGINIA PIPELINE:
    LAID BY HUNDRED MEN IN ONE DAY

    (译者:“黑旋风”鲤鱼)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        三、最后的报应

    三个男人,死后一同到了天堂门口。圣?彼得在那里欢迎恭候:“欢迎各位有幸升
    入天堂。天堂太大,你们每位都需要有自己的交通工具,我这就发给你们。”

    圣?彼得对第一个男人说:“你一生荒淫无度,对你妻子极为不忠。好在晚年有所
    收敛,就只能给你一辆山地自行车了。”

    圣?彼得对第二个男人说:“你比上一位老实多了,也就只有为数不多的几次沾花
    惹草的行为,但你这样的也只配免强发给你一辆低档小汽车。”

    圣?彼得对第三个男人说:“你是一位难得的好男人,你一生对你妻子忠心至诚,
    恩爱有加,真是不容易,堪为模范丈夫的典范。为此,我将发给你一辆罗尔斯罗依
    斯超豪华轿车,作为你一生忠贞不渝的嘉奖。”

    三人刚要离去,却见得罗尔斯罗依斯的男人嚎淘大哭了起来。另两个人大惑不解地
    问他:“你得了最好的车,难道还不满意呀!你哭啥?”

    那人答道:我刚刚瞧见我太太了,她正在那边在用一个skateboard!

    (译者:渔夫)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        四、母以子贵

    四位年青的母亲,从产房下来后,各自抱着自己心爱的儿子,躺在病床上。每个人
    心中无不荡漾着幸福的感觉,不免各自在心中为自己心爱的儿子的未来,遐想联翩
    。过了一会,其中一位终于忍不住内心的得意之情,开口打破了沉默。

    “我的儿子”她自豪地说,“将来长大后,一定会成为一名城里颇负名望的的牧师
    的,每当他从街上走过的时候,人们都不断向他恭恭敬敬地向他致以问候:‘Go
    od morning, Father’蛘摺牵铮铮洹。幔妫簦澹颍睿铮铮?, 
    Father’。我会为有这样的儿子,无限自豪的。

    第二位母亲听罢这番话,想了又想,也开口说:“我的儿子以后会作红衣大主教的
    ,当他每次到城里去巡视的时候,人们见到了都会毕恭毕敬地亲切称呼:‘Goo
    d morning your Eminance!’或者‘Good aft
    ernoon your Eminance!’。作为红衣大主教的母亲,我会
    为他感到骄傲无比,我也会为此得到教区人民的尊敬。

    第三位听了这两位的话,怎么能甘心示弱?于是说:“我的儿子会非常的与众不同
    ,你们没看他现在刚生出来就福相无让矗克院蟪ご罅耍欢ǖ借蟮俑宰鹘袒实?!今
    后无论他走到全世界什么地方,成千上万的人们都会聚起欢迎他大驾的光临,
    人们都会对他顶礼膜拜,高呼:‘Bles蟆。恚濉。铮酰颉。龋铮欤椋睿澹?s
    !’或者‘Save my soul your Holiness!’。没
    有什么能比得上成为教皇的母亲的光荣的!

    前面两位母亲听了这话,当然觉得自愧不如,哑口无言。但这颇让第四位大不服气
    ,心想一定得压住她们才成。于是她在那里冥思苦想、绞尽脑汁半天,最后终于开
    口道:“我的儿子才跟你们的不同,他长大以后,一定头上流脓,脚底长疮,还会
    生一对斗鸡眼、塌鼻梁、缺嘴巴、大歪脸,还会瘸腿、断胳膊。无论他走到哪里,
    人们都会大声地惊呼:“Oh my God!”。

    (译者:“黑旋风”鲤鱼)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        五、排长队

    戈尔巴乔夫的“改革开放”新政以后,人们的日常生活可仍没有太大的起色和好转
    ,反而买东西的队倒是越排越长。可不,这家靠近红场的店刚到了一批伏特加,平
    时嗜酒如命的苏联人立马蜂拥而上,排队抢购。

    站在队伍最后的一哥们望着这长长的队伍, http://www.esporthat.com/ MLB hats,实在有些不耐烦起来,这么冷的天儿,
    鬼知道等这队轮上他的时候,还有没有自己的戏,不免破口骂了出来:“他奶奶个
    熊!这队也排得太长了点,斯大林、赫鲁晓夫在台上的时候,帝国主义封锁我们那
    阵子,俺们也没这么惨过!这戈尔巴乔夫不是个东西,你丫等着,老子到克里姆林
    宫来一枪把你丫给宰了!”

    他让旁边的一哥们替他守着这位置,然后就骂骂咧咧地朝克里姆林宫走去。

    大约一个多钟头的时辰,这哥们终于垂头丧气地从红场那边回来了,一旁的苏联人
    都无不好奇地问:“怎么样?你到底有没有宰成戈尔巴乔夫哪?”

    这哥们一脸的没有好气:“他妈拉个巴子,那边排的队比这边还不知还要长好几倍
    !”

    (译者:“黑旋风”鲤鱼)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        六、勃列日涅夫的谜语

    勃列日涅夫在台上那会儿,人们普遍的印象是他整个儿一个大笨熊,不过老实讲,
    他倒也真不算傻,起码不象看上去那样,要不然也就坐不到克里姆林宫的第一把交
    椅了。其实,他还颇喜欢动脑筋的,经常还给身边工作的同志引用中国谚语“脑筋
    不动要生锈,人不吃肉就要瘦”来教导他们,不但如此,他特别喜欢猜迷,说这是
    养成动脑筋好习惯的好办法。勃列日涅夫而且以身作则,还号召全体在克里姆林宫
    工作的人员,天天互相出谜猜谜,一时间,克里姆林宫全体动员出好谜猜好谜,那
    盛况空前的,远不亚于毛儿席号召全中国人民每天作广播体操。

    一天勃列日涅夫在克里姆林宫的走廊上,正好撞上了克格勃头子安德罗波夫。那时
    ,勃列日涅夫年事已高,正在物色接班人,安德罗波夫早就打好了黄袍加身的如意
    算盘,所以决定一有机会就尽力讨好勃列日涅夫,时下不是正在进行猜谜运动么,
    于是安德罗波夫就借机跟他套磁儿。

    “勃列日涅夫同志早上好!我有个好谜语,看你猜不猜得出?我爹的儿子但又不是
    我本人,这会是谁?”安德罗波夫一脸媚相。

    “嗯…………”,勃列日涅夫绞尽脑汁就是答不上来,“这条谜倒挺有水平的,算
    了!我猜不上来。”

    “我兄弟!”

    勃列日涅夫一听,果然有理,非常欣赏,夸奖了安德罗波夫几句聪明,说以后这第
    一把交椅可以考虑由他接着坐。安德罗波夫喜不自胜兴高采烈地走了不题。

    再往前没走多远,勃列日涅夫又碰上了前来汇报工作的戈尔巴乔夫,他不禁有些忍
    不住现炒现卖,把刚从安德罗波夫那儿听来的谜语拿来在戈尔巴乔夫面前卖弄一番
    。于是他问:“米哈依尔,你来听这个谜语如何?我爹的儿子但又不是我本人,这
    会是谁?”

    没想到这戈尔巴乔夫整个儿一犯木,张口结舌竟答不上来。

    勃列日涅夫顿时得意非凡地大叫:“哈哈,你真他妈笨!连安德罗波夫的兄弟都不
    知道!”

  17. Paoshan flowers 2013.01.30 15:41 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  18. Clippers Deandre Jordan Swingman Jersey 2013.02.01 19:03 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  19. Artiltres 2013.11.08 13:19 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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  2. 开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子 2013.01.04 19:53 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply









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    开封市公安局开发区分局局长候锁柱同志曾在河南电视台采访时,一直坚持认为公安局的拘留没错。
    就这样在报道了几次后,汪海洋就拿着报道过自己的报纸以维权为名到处行骗,但凡是被维权过的人都揭发其行骗,汪海洋对揭发他的人大肆辱骂并人身攻击,揭发他的有上百人,他骂的也有上百人。您在百度力输入《汪还洋公民维权网》就知道了。
    汪海洋辱骂别人的方式是:在网上骂别人父女通奸、母子通奸,说别人是骗子等,很多网友保留了证据。
    汪海洋不识字,不懂法律,年老体弱,在上述的一些活动中,需要文字上的东西时,就由其儿子汪佩书写,骂人的语言真是不堪入耳。可能贵校领导认为我们所言不真,那么很好验证:让汪海洋当场书写一份东西,他根本写不出来!就连电脑打字也不会!您可能会说,即使汪海洋不会写东西,但也没证据能证明是其儿子写的啊。那么我们也想在此问一下领导:学法律的儿子不看搞维权的父亲的网站,不知道这现实吗?要知道,汪佩一家人没有正当职业,汪佩本人的所有学费都是由其父亲的所谓维权骗来的钱完成的。当汪海洋因辱骂女人张艳琴被起诉时,汪本人怕败诉后没脸维权了,竟哭着说,一家人的生活费还要靠其维权来养活呢,这说明了什么?

  3. 开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子 2013.01.04 19:58 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply














    主题:痛揭开封劳改犯维权老骗子汪海洋汪沛父子(富婆包养)有关精彩图片!

    请大家认住这个专骗富婆的畜生汪沛(父亲是汪海洋,母亲是许建美)!!!




    这个畜生汪沛,1983年生,自称是大学生,开封市人,专一骗富婆为主!2005年骗开封市南关区马道街北段一做服装生意的王女士3万;2007年骗中山路开饭店的李女士5万元;2009年又以谈恋爱为名骗医科学校一女教师3万元,用婚外情骗北京朝阳区有夫之妇赵女士一块和田玉(价值200多万),这是我们所了解到的,没有了解到的还有很多!现在汪佩不敢露头,一露头就会有很多人要宰了他!请大家人肉这个赖孙,随时公布他的行踪!请将有关信息及时发送到 mailto:mengpingwo@163.com mengpingwo@163.com,若有价值,定重金酬谢!


    这个赖孙借钱的理由是:自己是中国政法大学毕业,要创业办律师所,办维权网站等。这个赖孙在与女人发生性关系时常常暗中录下像,若是被借钱的女士向其要帐,这个赖孙就以公布性录像来威胁!或者让其劳改犯父亲汪海洋出面来威胁!


    其父亲汪海洋现在65岁,因为侮辱轮奸妇女被劳改。在劳改期间老婆与别人怀孕生子,汪海洋出监狱后对社会怀有仇恨,其儿子汪佩因出身不明对社会同样不满,于是父子俩人办了个《汪海洋公民维权网》 http://www.cnwqw.com/ www.cnwqw.com及开封恒远商务投资咨询中心,网址是 http://www.kfwhy.sm160.net/ http://www.kfwhy.sm160.net/到处以维权为名骗钱,被人揭发后到处骂人。


    这个赖孙为了便于行骗,用过汪培、汪沛、汪霈、汪佩等,不管用哪个名, http://forum.book.sina.com.cn/thread-4817828-1-1.html 开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子,这是这个赖孙的照片,请大家一定要认清!!!


    可证明汪海洋父子被劳改单位:开封市五一路派出所


    被侮辱女网友张艳琴已将汪海洋起诉到:郑州市金水区法院。

    (住:郑州市金水区庙李镇张家村142号)


    魏德钊同志(原周口市公安局印章厂厂长),被汪海洋父子以维权为名骗走:三枚金印章、偷走一本价值连城的古书!


    富婆马丽萍现住:北京市朝阳区南新圆中路113号楼409室


    马丽萍由于老公孔子林与强奸犯汪海洋是把兄弟,两人又都是以维权骗人,在这当中马丽萍认识了汪海洋的私生子汪沛。马丽萍这几年搞敲诈争了很大一笔钱,但也色的狠,与汪沛勾搭上之后,这个富婆经过活动,把汪沛送到了中国政法大学培养,汪沛付出的代价是陪富婆10年。不过汪沛在陪了5年后不想陪了,富婆恼羞成怒,把这事揭发出来了,唉,其实这种行为是为人所不耻的。

  4. 开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子 2013.01.04 19:59 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply




    胡星斗到底存在诈骗不,请全国人关注!!!

    尊敬的全国网友,我们向大家反映一下有关所谓"著名学者"胡星斗的几件事,请大家给评评理,看看胡星斗的行径。



    在讲事之前,我先讲一个人。河南省有个劳改犯汪海洋,汪海洋今年60岁,因强奸妇女被劳改8年,因侮辱大河女网友张艳琴被告上法庭!(张艳琴,女,汉族,住郑州市金水区庙李镇张家村142号)。



    汪海洋所谓的维权方式是:让集体反映情况的当事人集资数万元,然后派个代表,由汪海洋约上胡星斗在北京召开个所谓的学术研讨会之类,拍个照就算完事了,也不当啥用。这不是骗人吗?很多农民听汪海洋说胡星斗是中国的法律专家,他一参加这个会事就解决了。可等农民花了几万元钱,实际上没一点作用,这不是骗人吗?

    2008年9月27日关于河南省汝州市临汝镇坡池村村治一案的学术研讨会,村民拿了6万,不知胡星斗先生分了多少钱。更不知胡星斗先生分了钱之后这样搪塞一下村民良心可安?



    数月前,由汪海洋这个牵皮条的又给胡星斗先生拉了一笔生意。山东临沂地区300余名被错误下放的教师的权益需要维护,汪海洋共收取了10万元,然后由几名老教师代表,于2010年6月12日在北京参加了所谓的著名学者胡星斗先生主讲的学术会,然后又没了下文!!!

    .............................

    胡星斗先生,你常自称是中国人的良心,这就是你做的事情吗?你的良心何忍?你每次分了多少钱?你敢说你没分钱?以你的智商你应该能分析出劳改犯汪海洋屡次让你参加这类会的目的,你好意思是否认吗?

    告状人本来就不容易,一分一厘都是省出来的,甚至是借来的钱,骗这种人的钱,是不会得好报应的啊!听说胡星斗先生还是北京理工大学的教授,教授都这样了,看来中国人真是坏透了啊!

    这是我们从网上看到的有关汪海洋的劣迹如下,请所有的人警惕河南的骗子啊!



    汪海洋因强奸妇女被劳改8年,年轻老婆当然耐不住寂寞,偷汉私生子。现在父子两人办个《汪海洋公民维权网http://www.cnwqw.com/》到处骗人,网站上全是骂人帖子,不给钱不删帖。

    还办了一个开封恒远商务投资咨询中心http://www.kfwhy.sm160.net/,开封市汪海洋资讯管理有限公司,此网站未经工信部备案,税费、产品交易、是不是也没记录,动机意图是不是行骗??? 无登记信息就是非法的假公司。 涉嫌诈骗!!!汪海洋让三陪儿媳妇去找记者攻关,让记者虚假报道自己,这样好行骗)

    地址: 河南开封河南省开封市学院门街23号外贸大厦802-803室



    http://www.xici.net/u17490152/d98159831.htm

    假英雄、真骗子汪海洋现形记09-09-06 12:41 发表于:《河南媒体群》 分类:未分类

    开封有个60多岁的汪 海 洋,曾因诈骗和猥亵妇女被劳改。出狱后,自称是神人下凡,到处给人家的官司免费代理,然后等人家经过不断的努力官司胜诉了(人家请的有律师),,就大张旗鼓的宣传自己代理赢了,然后跑到报社向记者讲自己维权的"艰辛"。记者报道后,汪 海 洋立即以此大肆行骗,小至一盒烟,不管大钱小钱都要,但由于没有采访权、没有调查权、没有官司(刑事)代理权,不会写答辩,维权不下去,收了人家东西办不成事,于是被骗者不断揭发,汪 海 洋恼羞成怒,只好破口大骂。并且对大河网上有些名气的网友也骂,想以此成名,以为大家让他一骂就不再上这个网了,他就是英雄了,多么可蠢可耻可悲啊。拿了当事人的材料再到另一方去告密要赏,两头吃,真他妈不是人。



    汪 海 洋在金水法院被大河网友掀耳光;到省法院被门卫训斥;下农村采访被村民把车都给砸了(害得被邀请的记者也根着担惊害怕),被大河女网友起诉到金水区柳林法院。前后揭发其行骗的有近百人。



    汪 海 洋在本省进行的所谓的"维权"还到处挨打,就这水平如果到外省弄不好连尸首都找不着。而本省的只有大河网这个阵地了,可就连这个阵地因为自己的行骗也被大河网给封了,只好让其政法学校毕业无所事事的儿子,运用所学知识,使用高科技软件(可以自由变换ip地址),天天在这里发帖,尽管被封了2000多个马甲,可仍"坚持不懈"。由于行骗不断被人揭发,汪 海 洋生活没了着落。汪 海 洋经过其政法毕业的儿子(无业)策划,以被封ip为由起诉大河网,其实输赢对汪来讲无所谓,他要的是这个效果:看看,大河网我都敢起诉,我多有本事!结果呢当然是败诉。并且在郑州金水法院被大河网友掀耳光后又被110带走!!!



    后来又想出捐款500元圈套,想骗大家往其提供的帐户上捐款,结果被网友们立即识破。就这种在监狱里学的下三烂水平还拿出来面向社会行骗,真让人恶心。



    现在的汪 海 洋干什么?就是天天与无业儿子在家汗流浃背目呲尽裂骂人,希望能骂走所有有能力的人,好混口饭吃。但这种愿望不但渺小,而且是根本不可能的!!!



    估计汪 海 洋最挣钱的一次就是骗取周口市魏德钊同志(原周口市印章厂厂长)的东西了:三枚金印章、一本价值连城的古书。



    可证明汪 海 洋被劳改单位:开封市五一路派出所

    可证明汪 海 洋被起诉单位:郑州金水区柳林法院

    可证明汪 海 洋恶意诉讼单位:河南金博大律师所

    可证明汪 海 洋不断骂人单位:大河网

    可证明汪 海 洋被骗大河网友: 泌阳老曹、周口现代、周口残疾人、天问、黑脸大眼、车骑将军、农家女等近百人。

    可证明汪 海 洋被骂大河网友:一叶方舟、zxb2007、时间007、王文杰、王一川(大河网新闻中心记者)、中原侠客、海蓝蓝、大河采风等

    这是国家重点新闻网站《大河网》网友们对汪 海 洋的评价:

    一叶方舟:发表于 2009-1-31 03:57

    你相信汪 海 洋能真正的打击骗子吗?他有哪个能力吗?

    骂骂人,在论坛捣乱他可以.,除此之外,哈哈哈~!相信他也是一事无成.

    即便是有个别的案子他粘上了,那也是板上定钉的事情,他能把整个案件的功劳算在他头上吗?

    zxb2007:发表于 2009-2-5 21:06

    这样的卑鄙无耻小人还不封IP???!!!

    汪 海 洋老疯狗与儿子汪小疯狗低级小儿科的攻击和漫骂,这几年就在社区,大河网友投诉和建议的严肃地方,在斑竹全部是管理人员的关注下,低级狂妄的表演,让大家都没把疯狗当人!!

    想出名想疯了!!!

    汪 海 洋父子在大河骂人无数,早已经不知道骂了多少人!

    就你还"维权"?还爱心"募款"?笑话!

    你是什么样的人,大家更加看清楚了!你在社区充分低级卑鄙的小儿科表演最好!

    就你个混混小人.你还能为别人"维权&quot, http://forum.book.sina.com.cn/thread-4817828-1-1.html 开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子;???!!!笑话!!

    被封了2000多个马甲,老杂碎!

    中原侠客的一点小小说明

    2009-2-9 10:45

    尊敬的各位网友,网上不断出现诬告本人的帖子(其实是劳改犯汪海洋),先是编造本人冒充新华社人员,后来竟又捏造本人被公安机关传唤,现在竟又编造出本人在商城县骗农民钱,为了搞臭侠客,看来个别人连人格都不要了。

    只需一点就戳穿谎言:假如真有那回事,小人早就如获珍宝兔子般窜到公安机关报案去了。

    侠客不愿为这种事占大河的空间,耽误网友的时间,侠客根本没有在此与人对骂。关键有人在此将"时间、王一川、一叶方舟、我是保罗我是谁"等网友说成是侠客,后来事实又证明不是。唉,就这种无头苍蝇乱撞的水平,还去办什么大案,真真的那个让人笑死。

    可能个别网友心里纳闷,侠客为何不对这种现象采取点措施,侠客回答:嫌沾脏了手!

    侠客以后不为类似这种事再发任何澄清的说明。

    原帖由 伸张正义1 于 2009-3-11 11:37 发表

    汪混蛋是大河论坛出了名的老混蛋,老流氓,

    007你跟一个老混蛋老流氓叫什么劲?

    论坛里谁都知道他是个老混求,你难道不知道吗?大家都不里它个老牲畜也就没事了.

    它本来就是来大河论坛捣乱的.你越搭理它它就越混求!多个

    ...



    zxb2007: 发表于 2009-4-10 14:00

    让在大河论坛焦点版和社区居委会,已经封2000多马甲的混蛋,为所欲为?被他恶毒漫骂和人身攻击的大河网友有200人以上!我如果在焦点版发帖,"请被那个卑鄙低级无耻小人恶毒漫骂和人身攻击的大河网友报名"那么这个帖子将是大河第一火热帖子,在可以预见的将来也是第一火热帖子![前提是还象现在和以前多年做的方法:只封ID!!!不封IP!!!那个已被封2000多骂人的人,今年骂人的马甲将会突破一万以上!

    007将在适当的时候发出........



    zxb2007: 发表于 2009-4-10 21:52

    我已经看到二个马甲被封IP地址.

    我为管理人员的觉醒和进步感到高兴!

    如此这样能坚持不断,不太长的时间,彻底让这个被封2000多马甲骂人的小人在大河论坛绝迹!

    真诚希望大河论坛成为全国一流,在全国有较大影响力的全国论坛!祝福!

    被他恶毒漫骂和卑鄙人身攻击的大河网友有200人以上!并且不分男女,不分老少!只要看不惯他骂人,说句公道话,就被他恶毒漫骂!在社区居委会[这个大河论坛最后解决问题的地方,同样如此!]

    狂妄到极点!

    时间007: 发表于 2009-4-11 10:17



    大河网新名词:汪疯狗

    名词解释:汪疯狗又称老杂碎、老骗子,是指一个开封名叫汪 海 洋的劳改犯,60岁,曾因诈骗和猥亵妇女被劳改,又因以维权为名搞诈骗被郑州网友告到郑州金水区柳林法庭!其儿子又荣获小疯狗称号。

    zxb2007:发表于 2009-1-14 21:34

    楼主以前我在社区劝告过你(农家女)和九哥,都退一步,你们二人基本表示同意!

    所以,还是原来那句话:你们和大河论坛一批不分是非,上来就恶毒骂人的混混,不是一个档次的.所以,我希望息怒.........

    请听大哥一句话:论坛别有用心小人很多!007这是最后的劝告.

    其他问题,其他方法解决.

    农家女:发表于 2009-1-14 11:44

    农家女:你好!

    你自己有权利决定怎么做,只要你下定决心"计划用十年的时间来折腾她",谁又能去阻挡你呢?前几天看到汪 海 洋在论坛里辱骂海蓝蓝,真是感觉这人的卑鄙无耻。国难当头,海蓝蓝正在为献血忙碌,汪 海 洋在此时还不忘记骂人,像这种人、这种行为,值得你去尊重吗?

    汪 海 洋为什么要这样做,不会是因为海蓝蓝挑拨过你和他之间的关系,海蓝蓝又不是喜欢惹事的人。汪 海 洋这样做,是不是证明他骂人并不需要别人挑唆?人的本性如此,有人挑唆你,你也不会这样骂人的。

    寻求公理: 发表于 2009-2-4 13:52

    另外这个姓汪的还骗一漯河残疾人衣服和酒!都有记录的!

    据说他还在周口骗一医生1000元!这个医生自认倒霉!不敢报案!

    大家看清楚这个开封汪 海 洋的嘴脸!

    不要上当受骗!

    作为一个法律人,首先就是自己必须有一个良好的品德!然后才能帮助他人!知道吗?

    貌似神奇:软座 大 中 小 发表于 2009-2-7 23:02

    他哪能叫虎?汪汪叫的那是狗!开封这么美的地方怎么出这么个东西?

    http://bbs.zynews.com/showtopic-39556.aspx





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    (3)解释以上例子的故事,违背了科学抽象性和客观性的标准.切记一点,事情应
    当是一种中性的变迁,是可由那些不懂得七情六欲的外星人观察和记录的.这类外星
    人不懂得吃饼干的乐趣,也不了解那位愚蠢的顾客徒然地等待食粮时挨饿的痛苦.

    (4)这台售货机在第二位顾客的巧克力被送出之前的迹是coin,choc,c
    oin不论是进程还是观察员都无法了解这笔完整的交易会是怎样.因为顾客的饥不
    可耐和机器满足顾客要求的责任感都不在这些进程的字母表内,所以也就不能被观察
    到或记录下来.

    (5)这台响个不停的售货机里已经售完太妃糖了.但是顾客就想要太妃糖;cur
    se是顾客拿不到太妃糖时的咒骂,后来他还是不得不拿一块巧克力.要注意的是,
    数学公式是无法表现顾客的感情的,他当然情愿要块太妃糖而不愿意说句难听的话.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    样板戏《列宁在十月》

    那些年除了演样板戏,也演过一些新编的现代戏。印象最深刻的是《列宁在十月》。
    此戏据说无剧本,全凭着旧戏曲的八大韵去“踩水”(即兴创作)大剧团不敢演,怕
    犯错误,只有些班子小胆子大的县川剧团才敢演它。演列宁的须生崔正红习惯了在台
    上走正步,举手投足依然是旧戏中的大臣风范。花脸刘盛财演斯大林,在台上老是用
    手死劲捻松香粘的八字胡。我同其它演员串角,端端正正站在二位革命导师旁聆听教
    悔。

    列宁唱:【红鸾袄?二流板】

    叫一声约瑟夫孤的好兄弟
    有件事朕同你细说端的
    打冬宫咱还要从长计议
    切不可闹意气误了战机
    冬宫内到处有许多裸体
    全都是大理石雕刻成的

    斯大林唱:(同上曲牌)

    嗔一声敬爱的……(帮腔)弗拉基米尔?依里奇
    三日前本将军已传话下去
    打冬宫不准毁坏文物古迹
    开枪不能朝着壁上的裸体
    那都是尼古拉留给咱们无产阶级的
    …………………
    (摘自小说《落花时节》。作者何洁,诗人流沙河之妻)

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    一次,前山东省主席韩复榘挺胸凸肚出现在齐鲁大学校庆演讲台上。未开口倒也威风
    凛凛,大有学界泰斗之状;口一张,原形毕露,信口雌黄,粗俗不堪。搞得满座师生
    愕然,哗然,昏昏然。请听:
    “诸位,各位,在齐位:
    “今天是什么天气?今天是演讲的天气。开会的人来齐了没有?看样子大概有个五分
    之八啦,没来的举手吧!很好,都到齐了。你们来得很茂盛,敝人也实在很感冒。…
    …今天兄弟召集大家,来训一训,兄弟有说得不对的地方,大家应该互相谅解,因此
    兄弟和大家比不了。你们是文化人,都是大学生、中学生和留洋生,你们这些乌合之
    众是科学科的,化学化的都懂七、八国的英文,兄弟我是大老粗,连中国的英文也不
    懂。……你们是笔筒里爬出来的,兄弟我是炮筒里钻出来的,今天到这里讲话,真使
    我蓬蓖生辉,感恩戴德。其实我没有资格给你们讲话,讲起来嘛就象……就象……对
    了,就象对牛弹琴。
    正当听众哭笑不得之时,他又提示性地交代:
    “今天不准备多讲,先讲三个纲目。蒋委员长的新生活运行,兄弟我双手赞成,就是
    一条,‘行人靠右走’着实不妥,实在太糊涂了,大家想想,行人都靠右走,那左边
    留给谁呢?
    “还有件事,兄弟我想不通:外国人都在北京的东交民巷建了大使馆,就缺我们中国
    的。我们中国为什么不在那儿也建个大使馆?说来说去,中国人真是太软弱了!
    第三个纲目讲他的进校所见,就学生的篮球赛,痛斥总务处长道:
    “要不是你贪污了,那学校为什么这样穷酸?十来个人穿着裤衩抢一个球像什么样
    子,
    多不雅观!明天到我公馆再领笔钱,多买几个球,一人发一个,省得再你挣我抢。
    “三个纲目”讲完,韩主席扬长而去,但不知“靠左走”是否能找到他的官邸

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    不爽

    免得不爽一个礼拜…
    不爽想要发□打那几个字怎麽能发□到不爽的情绪呢尤其是会延续一个礼拜的
    不爽若是我想要发□的话我会打一大堆的东西来发□心中的不快埋藏在心里的
    不爽到了一个程度的时候尤其是作业写不完考试考不尽社团也要忙实在是有够
    不爽的想找人出来聊天也找不出来所以只好利用许多反覆无意义的言词来发
    不爽这样心里才能爽否则若是只像你文章开头写出你不爽里面却只有那几个字
    不爽怎麽能够被解决呢所以若是真的想要发□那就多打几个字可是像我这样把
    不爽这个词尽量移到前头需要花很多的脑筋在想的时候会多花精神最後反而更
    不爽真是自讨苦吃的行为所以虽然可以利用一些有的没有的东西去表达心中的
    不爽但是你可以不像我这样还要耍酷玩这些吃力不讨好的花招以免让自己更加
    不爽说到耍酷我女朋友曾经骂我爱学人家摆酷却又放不开这句话也让我十分地
    不爽可是这句话又说得没错我就是这样的人摆出一些很酷的样子背地却在那里
    不爽然後又没地方发□因为我有错所以我想要向我的女朋友道歉以免她也在那
    不爽是不是因为我最近的行为颇令她失望所以她才不理我我要检讨让大家不会
    不爽可是她好像一直在逃避我我想找她说话总是没有两句就结束了这已经让我
    不爽要怎麽办呢我也不知道也许只有顺其自然吧作业那麽多做都做不完也是个
    不爽的要素没事那麽多作业干嘛难怪大家都在抄用抄的分数还比我高看了就很
    不爽辛辛苦苦写的作业把不会的空者写不出来没交是我的作法也许老师会有些
    不爽可是这是表示我对我自己诚实的作法没有什麽不对偏偏有些人就是看我很
    不爽认为我可以用抄的为何不抄奇怪我不抄干他什麽事他不高兴难道我就不会
    不爽吗不过偶而我也会抄作业缺交太多也不太好所以我不可以说太多以免他们
    不爽不借我抄作业那我的分数就会很低甚至不及格被当掉到那时候就是我爸妈
    不爽的时候了可恶我明天还有作业要交我还打那麽多东西真是疯了可是我就是
    不爽刚好又看到这个标题就顺手写了这一大堆东西这些东西才能发□我心里的
    不爽嘛你说是不是不过千万不要学我无聊打这一堆东西搞到自己累死而且还是
    不爽说不定你可以帮我分段加标点符号也许心里会好一点不过若是你弄完依然
    不爽请你不要怪我毕竟我不是心理医生不知道你的烦闷在哪里所以与我无关。
    不爽啦!
    你爽了吧!

    看的我都有一点不爽!!!
    真的不爽!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    二十四孝

    这是我以前的剪报,也许大家都看过了…
    作者:傅伯宁

    我的邻居老太太养了一群孝顺的儿子,昨天她过八十岁生日,我应邀去她家吃饭,不
    禁叹为观止。一开饭,陈老太太就对我说:来来来,别客气,这是我大儿子躺在冰
    上,
    求来的鲤鱼。二儿子听了有点不高兴地说:娘,人家抱著竹子哭了两个小时,才弄到
    的笋子难道就不好吃了?陈老太太笑嘻嘻地说:好吃,好吃,好吃得不得了。说完指
    著一碗玉米浓汤对我说:这里头加的可不是牛油。这时三媳妇哇地喊了一声,掩著脸
    跑开了。陈老太太得意地说:嘿嘿,里头加了两种奶,一种是我三儿子披著鹿皮取来
    的鹿奶,一种是我三媳妇自己的人奶。陈老太太看了我一眼说:我四媳妇已经很久没
    有割大腿肉了,你放心的夹肉吃吧。四媳妇娇嗔了一声说:娘,过去的事就别提了。
    陈老太太不以为然说:百善孝为先,这有什麽好避讳的?从前我生病的时候,你丈夫
    还尝我的大便有没有甜味呢。五儿子见我目瞪口呆,赶快打圆场说:吃饱了,来点水
    果吧,这是我采的桑椹,保证不酸。六儿子也笑著从袖子拿出一个橘子说:这个也
    很甜。七儿子匆匆走入房中,穿著一身彩色服装,拿著一个铃鼓出来,开始载歌载
    舞。
    陈老太太对我眨眨眼,低声说:这是馀兴节目。时间不早了,我起身向众人告辞,这
    时窗外突然起风,顿时雷电交加。众儿子齐喊:娘,别怕,我们在这儿陪您了。陈老
    太太捂住耳朵大骂:天呀,你们的声音比雷还大。众儿子显得很不好意思。回家以
    後,
    我儿子对我说:老爸,明天买一辆机车给我好不好?星期日我想带我马子去兜风。我
    听了忍不住嚎啕大哭起来。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    鬼笑话(一)

    从前有一户有钱人家,家里只有爸爸妈妈和一对兄妹,那个妹妹很不幸的死於车祸,
    从此这家人都笼罩在愁云惨雾之中。
    有一天,有个人在公园散步,突然看到一个非常漂亮的小姐的背影,穿著白色的衣
    服,
    还围著一条蓝色的丝巾。哇!好美啊!这个人心里这样想著,於是他就跟著这个小
    姐,
    想看她住在哪里。结果被那个小姐发现了,还以为他是色狼,於是急急忙忙就跑掉
    了。
    慌乱中那条蓝色的丝巾掉在地上,那个男的就捡起了纱巾,尾随著她,结果跟著跟
    著,
    就跟到那个有钱人家家门口了。他亲眼见到那个小姐进了那家人的门。因为他手上有
    纱巾,就大胆地去按门铃,结果出来一个老太婆,问:你要干嘛?
    他说:我要找你们家小姐。
    那个老太婆脸色臭臭地说:你找错人了,我们家没什麽小姐。
    砰地一声就把门摔上了。
    这个年轻人天天在附近等,都没有等到那个小姐。最後这个年轻人终於死了心。搬离
    了这个城市。
    许多年後,这个年轻人也长大了,而且事业有成,某一天因为职务上的需要又回到这
    个城市。他忍不住又想起了这个有著漂亮背影的小姐,於是他就跟接待他的人讲,要
    回去那家有钱人家看一看。那个接待他的人就陪他去了。
    到了那边,他居然又看到那个小姐,一样穿著白衣,围著蓝丝巾,走进了那一户人
    家。
    他就问那个接待他的人,知不知道那个小姐是谁,那个人叹了口气说:唉,说起这家
    人,也真是够可怜的了,他们家的小姐,年纪轻轻地就死了。她哥哥跟她感情很好
    的,
    因为遭受不了这个打击,也发疯了。从那时候起,就常常扮了他妹妹的样子在附近闲
    晃………

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    W.C.

    看了这麽多笑话,觉得该有所贡献,所以post一篇从Η大某系系刊中的笑话给大
    伙解解颐。全文如下∶

    有位英国老妇人到瑞士想找间房子安享馀年。她向当地的一名老师请教,终於找到一
    个合适的地方,然後即启程回英国整理行李。回到英国後才想起,那儿似乎没有「方
    便的地方」,或如她所称呼的,没有W.C.(按∶watercloset),所
    以就写信问那位老师。老师被「方便的地方」弄的一头雾水,心想∶她既然来安享馀
    年,「方便的地方」指的应该是卫斯理教会(按∶wesleyanchurch
    ),
    所以那位老师回信了。

    亲爱的夫人∶
    平安!!
    W.C.在房子九哩之外,位於美丽树丛中,能一次容纳三百五十人。每周二、四和
    周日开放,夏天会有许多人前往,所以请早。虽然有许多空间能站,有些人喜欢带中
    饭来,在这玩一天。特别是在周四,这时後会有风管合奏,音响极佳,连细微声音都
    听的见。
    您应该会很高兴知道,我在此遇见心上人,也在此结婚,这实在方便。我们将举行一
    场义卖,希望您能赶来共襄盛举,此次目标是购买绒毛座垫,每位参与者皆觉得这是
    长久以来所急需的,目前座位上已是坑坑洞洞。
    内子娇弱,所以不能定时前往,她已六个月没去了,当然,她因不能常去而感到痛苦
    万分。
    最後,竭诚欢迎您的到来,我乐意帮您在前排或靠门处留位,完全看您较愿意在哪个
    角落。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    给我报报啦!

    在李登辉提过摩西故事之後,中视马上决定要播出美国旧片出埃及记,请问关於此事
    各界的反应如何?

    1。台视主管∶
    总统先生不久前曾经赞扬猪哥亮先生为杰出艺人,所以我们已经决定要二十四小时转
    播猪先生精彩的餐厅秀,而为了表示对猪先生精湛表演艺术的尊敬,节目中猪先生所
    说的任何黄色笑话都将不做消音处理,此外广告部份将只播猪先生的经典广告片系
    列:
    斯斯,还有亚补。希望全国大众能藉此解到猪先生究竟杰出在哪里。

    2。华视主管∶
    其实总统先生讲摩西故事的重点是在不相信摩西的人会被雷劈死这一段。为了让全国
    同胞能切实了解这一点,我们将要开拍一部新的八点档年度大戏∶黄飞鸿与白莲教,
    在戏中,黄飞鸿不相信白莲教,屡屡和白莲教主作对,还倡导广东独立运动,结果最
    後白莲教主祭起了垄断媒体大法,招来了一阵乱雷,就将黄飞鸿劈死了。
    此外前几天因为总统先生曾经垂询杨丽花小姐最近怎麽都没有演戏啊?,所以我们决
    定要请杨小姐扮演白莲教主这个角色。

    3。峤台联合声明∶
    我们要强调一点就是,我们这个点子其实比某友台还要早想到,只是酝酿期稍微长了
    一些。我们对总统先生所说过的任何一句话绝对都是仔细推敲,反覆研究。我们对总
    统先生的耿耿忠心,为天地可表,如滔滔江水,一发不可收拾。希望社会大众明鉴。

    4。台大医院院长∶
    为了响应总统先生最近一直倡导的生命共同体观念,本院已经决定∶本院今後将不再
    为连体婴进行分割手术,因为分割一个生命共同体实在是一项民族罪行,会被天打雷
    劈的。
    此外本院仅在此向过去被本院分割成功的连体婴表示歉意,如果有想要再连回来的,
    本院将免费为您进行手术。(crazyalpha,也就是疯狂快乾胶公司,已经
    答应赞助此类手术,本院在此一并致谢)

    5。星云大法师∶
    其实总统先生所说的摩西故事在佛教中也是有的,想当年孙悟空就是不相信如来佛,
    还在佛前做猥亵的动作,结果被乱石压顶,受苦了五百年,真是阿弥陀佛,善哉善
    哉。
    所以贫僧对总统先生所说的话深有同感,决定自今日起连开七七四十九日西游记讲
    座,
    好好地对十方大德做开示,欢迎踊跃参加。

    6。大象洲∶(大家叫我阿旺就好了)
    现在大家知道了吧,有胆就不要相信我老师,不要投票给我,到时你们就等著被出轨
    的捷运砸得头破血流吧!

    7。巷口太子庙的乩童∶
    为了响应总统先生的号召,本庙决定改供奉摩西祖师。太子爷不过是有风火轮,摩西
    祖师有五雷轰顶大法,法力高强多了。而且摩西祖师出自高层推荐,出名牌一定会更
    准的,祖师今夜子时第一次开坛,我将会表演让淡水河分开的绝技,请各位善男信女
    踊跃参加。

    8。一九九五年润八月的作者∶
    看了台湾目前的情况,我决定将书名改成一九九四年十二月……

    9。高中男生∶
    我们现在都在祈祷总统先生会说出:“满清”腐败,在国父“十大”革命後,仍不求
    改进,反而以”酷刑”对待革命志士。

    (记者在采访到此段话後,深有同感,立刻也加入了祈祷的行列,所以采访中断…
    …)

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    如何在台湾读理工学院……。

    这不是笑话,这是一个教育上的问题…。如果你不是故事中所说的人那我们一起来找
    出台湾教育的问题吧……。

    一架爱独克星人的太空船正停在月球的背面……。他们正为1999年的入侵地球计
    画做准备……统战部的主任拟定了一个入侵地球大学的计画…。他想在地球所有大学
    都有人混入做统战工作……他已经做好了调派,此时有一个部下提出了异议…。
    部下t:主任!为什麽,同样是混入大学理工系的工作,别人的i是7(相当地球智
    商140),而我只是6(120)就可以身任…。
    主任:这样啊,你是入侵哪个国家?
    部下t:中国的台湾地区……。
    主任:喔…。国情不同嘛……。
    部下t:不会吧,理工系不是都先告诉你一些基础的定理,然後利用这些定理,去做
    一些推导,来解决一些问题吗,重点是训练你解决问题的思考能力,以属下的能力,
    只能很快的记忆很多结果,我没有独立思考的能力。
    主任:那就够了啊,你只要一到那边,注意以下几点就好了……
    1。除非一定要修的科目以外,千万不要修太操的科目…。
    2。作业不用自己做,可以和别人(讨论),或是找到解答本…
    第三点最重要你要好好记好……
    部下t:是!
    主任:第三点,是有关考试的,你千万要记住,你一定要把课本内。一些解题的方
    法,
    一步一步的记好,至於为什麽这一步会是对的,只要问别人为什麽,把为什麽记起来
    就好了,不必浪费时间去想它这个为什麽是由一些很基本的定义导出来的,还是用别
    的结果去讲结果的。
    部下t:那不是很危险吗???要是题目出变化性一点,要是作业和课本内没有类似
    的哪我不是只有基本分吗??
    主任:所以告诉你一定要把基本分拿好啊,因为有70%的人都在基本分以下啊!
    部下t:主任, http://www.denverbroncoseshop.com/ tony carter Jerey!达成目标中不是有要我们至少要达到该校的20%吗???
    主任:那你放心,如果第一次考试这样的话,那教授下一次,一定放水!如果没有放
    水,那最後一定调分,如果没有调分,那那个教授会被骂得乱七八糟,甚至被系主任
    约谈。峤次平均下来一定有前20%!
    部下t:我还是有疑问唉,如果大学教育是这样那该国不是没有发展技术的能力吗,
    训练出来的工程师不都是只会照著书上写的一步一步做,只会做一些技术上的工作
    吗?
    主任:我就说国情不同嘛,该民族专制已久,统治者的心理你不懂吗???如果教人
    民有思想那不是造反的快吗,你想在大学联考中,把最会背的人拿来当律师,国家的
    司法系统,就好控制多了,把最聪明的人拿来当医生,让他们每天做机械式的工作,
    让他们衣食充足,就不会造反了,剩下来的,让他们读一些不用太多思考就可以过的
    书,国家不就在掌握中吗????
    部下t:可是该国的经济力还是不差啊!!
    主任:该国是取以钱来砸钱的政策,先用污染,盗版的优势来赚钱,再用钱的优势来
    搞工业,不注重技术的开发,可以维持一段时间,但国力受制於外国很多。
    部下t:我懂了,但是事实上我们不必渗透该国该国不就会亡吗。
    主任:啊!这样一说我到忘了,只是要你学习该国人民如何在现有短缺的能力下,如
    何硬撑,这和我们战略提升上有很大的帮助,顺便也为你上一课…
    於是部下t也踏上了旅程…………。

    待续……。下集是如何在台湾考到国立大学…。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    1997年元旦头条重大新闻!

    天堂通讯社洛杉叽一月一日电:
    圣母玛利亚今日托请律师,向美国洛杉矶联邦巡回法庭正式提起民事诉讼,控告上帝
    耶和华犯有遗弃罪,要求赔偿拖欠的子女赡养费,精神损失费,及拖欠达两千零三十
    年之久的利息,共十二万二千二百五十亿七千零八十六万三千八百二十四美元。玛利
    亚声称,耶和华在两千零三十年前一个风雨交加的晚上,不期而来,用极其令人痛苦
    难堪的人工授精方法,强致使她处女同贞之身怀孕而生下了耶稣基督,无强奸之名,
    有强奸之实,令她在世人中饱受非议歧视,险被众人以石头瓦片砸死。因此要求赔偿
    精神损失。又嫌犯耶和华曾答允在孩子出生之后,将负责赡养保护。然而耶和华在犯
    案使玛利亚怀孕之后,即行逃遁,两千多年,杳无踪迹可寻,以至连耶稣基督因事惹
    祸,被活活钉死在十字驾时,亦不肯施展其法力,救亲儿子的性命。遗弃亲子,罪无
    可恕!近来欣闻美国新任开明总统克林顿上台以来,重视家庭价值观念,通过了保护
    妇女及儿童权益的一系列联邦法律,故此前来洛杉矶联邦巡回法庭投诉。接受玛利亚
    委托的律师,是美国当代最著名的辩护律师约翰尼?科克伦。科克伦律师曾经接收辛
    普生一案辩护,成功地在证据确凿,无可辩驳的情况下洗清了辛普生的杀妻罪名,最
    近更出谋划策,替辛普生争回两个亲生子的监护权。科克伦对采访他的记者表示,他
    对打赢这场官司信心时足:“就是块埋了两千年的石头,照样要挖出来晒晒洛杉矶的
    太阳”,他打趣地说。法庭已向耶和华下了传票,限六个月到庭听审。如果被告六个
    月内不出现,即作缺席审判处理。天堂通讯社记者方舟子曾设法寻找耶和华以询问其
    对此诉讼有何评论,没有成功。此间法律专家们分析,玛利亚即使胜诉,获得赔偿的
    可能也不大。因为耶和华自使玛利亚受孕之后,即毫无踪迹可寻,更有宇宙大爆炸专
    家们确信耶和华现在一定已逃遁至两百多亿光年之外的宇宙边缘之外了。

  21. Replacement Car Parts 2013.02.03 00:00 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    귀하의 자동차가 고장 및 자동차 부품에 대한 지식을 필요가 없어서 있기 때문에 당신이 길 옆에 남아있을 싶지 않을 것이다. 자동차는 특정 마모에 직면하고 도로에 찢어하고 아무도이를 방지 할 수 없습니다 것입니다. 자동차의 각 부분은 그 기능을 가지고 있으며 부분의 각 차의 적절하고 원활한 작동에 중요합니다.

 

 

 

안녕하세요, 바이리뷰입니다.

 

강서구청 맛집 삼희불낙 리뷰어를 발표합니다.

 

랑사
Na-mu
준의정원
꺄트르봉봉
토깽이
꿀렁히니
뒹굴이맘
쪼쪼맘
윤서어멈
빈이맘
천사처키
오붓한여인
야나기치키
해피민
은딩닝
깜찍이채이맘
마타리
씽씽어뭉
다큰엔젤
유자

다희맘
요피85
초보주부왕
수미정
TokTok
나봄
KHaru
요리팡팡
이밀
댜보꼴

 

체험단에 선발되신 모든 분들께 축하의 인사를 드리며, 아울러 좋은 리뷰를 작성해주시길 바랍니다.

신청해주신 모든 분들께 감사의 인사를 드립니다.

항상 바이리뷰를 응원해주셔서 감사합니다.

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    鼓励球员 在上半场的足球赛中,球队输得极惨。场上观众走了大半。下半场比赛即将开始了。教
    练鼓励队员说:“伙计们,加油干!下面的比赛对我们极有利,因为给我们喝倒彩的观众都
    已经走掉了。”

    自 信 巴比长得很帅,他自信能成为一个杰出的足球运动员。他来到一个足球俱乐部,找到了
    教练。
    教练看了他一眼,对他说:“有两样东西妨碍你成为优秀的足球运动员。”
    巴比很奇怪:“什么东西?”
    教练:“你的左脚和右脚。”

    教练有方 运动员:“我总把球踢得偏离球门,这是为什么?”
    教练:“这是因为你照着门踢。如果你往别处踢,就有可能让球进入球门了!”

    看你敢不守住球门 一个加布罗沃足球队的教练指着球门的拦网对守门员说:“你看见这网了没有?价钱可
    不便宜。你要是让球把它撞坏了,就得从你的工资里扣钱赔上!”

    比赛要安排在斋戒日 在一场天主教学院和哈佛大学队的足球赛中,老明星马克斯韦尔担任哈佛大学队的教练。
    比赛时,双方争执了起来,天主教学院队的一名前锋竟咬下了哈佛大学队一个队员的一
    截手指。
    “明——明——明年,我们安排在星期五比赛,”口吃的马克斯韦尔对受伤的队员说,
    “因为那天他们不——不——不吃肉。”

    拳击教练 “每次数到八……”
    一名彪形大汉到医院去,向医生请教治疗失眠的方法。“这很容易,”医生说,“你只
    不过有轻微的神经衰弱。晚上当你躺到床上时,就默念数字,从1数到10,循环重复,便
    容易入睡啦。注意:贵在坚持。”
    一个星期后,这个大汉又来到医院。他显得比上次来时更疲惫不堪,医生吃惊地问他怎
    么会弄到这般田地。
    病人说:“我坚持每天晚上一躺到床上就不断从1数到10,可是每次数到8,我就跳起
    来了。”
    “为什么呢?”
    “我的职业是拳击教练。”病人回答。

    犹可自慰 教练员安慰自己打输了的拳击手说:“没关系,第三局的时候,你不是也把他吓得够呛
    嘛!”
    “他也怕我?”
    “是啊,他以为把你打死了。”

    诺贝尔和平奖 第二个回合,拳击教练问他的运动员:“这是干什么?你到底是想拿金牌还是想拿诺贝
    尔和平奖?”

    篮球教练 某运动员投篮,连投五次都没投进。
    教练道:“笨蛋!瞧我的!”也投五次,仍不进。“看见了吗?你刚才就是这样投的!”

    潜水教练 马上要进行第一次下海潜水考试。
    潜水学员:“我们怎样才能通过考试?”
    教练:“活着回来。”

    足球运动员 “不忍心”
    乔·纳马斯,美国杰出的足球明星。一天,召开了一次队会,教练对队员说:“这是一
    次分级赛,我要求你们注意仪表,把皮鞋擦亮,领带系上,头发理好,裤缝要挺,我希望你
    们能升级。在这个队里可不允许出现笨蛋。谁是笨蛋请早点站出来。”
    话刚说完,乔·纳马斯站了出来。教练十分吃惊,不安地问:“乔,你怎么回事?你又
    不笨?”
    纳马斯说:“教练,我实在不忍心让你独自站在那儿。”

    我也刚到 布朗科·纳戈斯基是美国一位杰出的足球运动员,以力量大和球艺全面被球迷们崇拜。
    有一天,赛球归来,他和一个队员在房间嬉闹了起来。一不小心,纳戈斯基从二楼的一
    个窗户上掉了下来,很快引来不少围观的人。
    一个交通警察很快走了过来,问刚从地上站起来、还不放心地摸摸头的纳戈斯基说:
    “出了什么事了?”
    纳戈斯基四周望了望说:“不知道,我也是刚到这儿的。”

    把话说清楚一些 足球教练员说:“小伙子们,今天你们得跟世界上着名的球队比赛,希望你们规规矩
    矩、老老实实地比赛,而且要争取胜利!”
    “你最好把话说清楚一些,”某些队员有了反应,“要么老老实实地比赛,要么争取胜
    利!”

    奇 迹 在一场激动人心的足球比赛中,一个球员左手的两个手指伤得很厉害。球赛结束后,他
    在回家途中,到一家诊所去治疗。
    “医生,”他万分焦急地问,“我的手治愈后,还能不能弹钢琴啊?”
    “那准行!”医生向他保证说。
    “那末,这倒是个奇迹,医生。我以前从来不会弹。”

    希 望 足球比赛马上就要开始了。某报记者来到一位正在做赛前准备活动的队员面前,请他向
    热心的球迷们说说对这场球赛有什么希望。
    这位队员想了想,说道:“当我带着球顺利地越过对方的防守队员,冲到球门区准备射
    门的时候,我希望对方守门员突然抽筋倒在地上。”

    输 血 老板对球星培林说:“我可以给你一大笔钱。但得从你身上抽些血输到其他队员身上,
    使他们和你一样勇猛顽强。”
    培林笑笑表示:“这样吧,老板,我出一笔钱买您的血,让我们都变得富有起来好吗?”

    拳击运动员 两个旅客坐在一个车厢里,经过互相自我介绍之后就随意聊了起来,东南西北地聊了一
    大堆,最后谈起哲理来。“我宁可施于人,不愿受于人,这是我对待生活的原则。”
    “您大概是位博爱家?”
    “不,我是个拳击家。”

    冰球守门员 冰球守门员对自己球队的队员们说:“你知道不,我在守门的时候常常想,如果球能变
    得像球门那么大,球门变得像球那么小,那该多好……”

    跳高运动员 一位着名跳高运动员赛前因发高烧被送进了医院。医生给他量了量体温,看着体温计,
    摇了摇头说:“嗬,40度!”
    这位世界纪录保持者听了,情绪大振:“那世界纪录是多少?”

    登山运动员 在登山训练中,两名登山运动员当中的一个不慎跌下了悬崖。
    另一个向下喊道:“你伤着了吗?”
    “不知道,我还在下跌!”

    射箭运动员 一个运动员在练习射箭,误伤了旁观者。运动员赶忙过去道歉。旁观者说:“这不怪
    你,怪我站错了地方。我如果站在箭靶子前面,不是就不会受伤了吗?”

    斗牛士 在马德里,一场斗牛赛刚刚结束。在这场比赛中,一位着名的斗牛士受了重伤,他刚刚
    被抬进医院不久,却只见他全身多处缠着绷带又从医院走了出来。
    “我一定要报仇!”斗牛士向聚集在医院门前的众多崇拜者大声疾呼。然后他开始沿街
    向前走去,人们紧跟着他,不知他要做什么。
    斗牛士走进了一家酒馆,坐在了一张桌旁,然后吩咐侍者:“给我上两份烤牛肉,烤得
    越焦越好!”

    游 泳 “你怎么总是空着肚子去游泳?”
    这样沉不下去,有浮力。”

    足球网 “足球比赛我看得多啦!我懂得有关足球的一切知识。”
    “是吗?那你告诉我,足球网有多少窟窿眼儿?”

    足球场 一个巴西农场主在一座城市附近买下了一块地后,马上开着拖拉机去耕耘。犁铧从地里
    翻出了一颗门牙, http://www.denverbroncoseshop.com/ Manning Game Jersey。
    “倒霉!”他嘟哝了一句,继续往前耕。
    100米后他又挖出了一颗牙齿。
    “简直莫名其妙,”农场主自言自语,还是往前耕去。大约30步后,犁头又从土里翻
    出一颗牙齿。
    “这事肯定不对劲!”他叫了起来,掉转拖拉机就开回家去。
    当晚他就给这块地的原主人写了一封信:“我买下的地以前是不是坟地?我要求您把钱
    还给我!我可不喜欢鬼魂出没的土地!”
    两天后来了一份电报:“别生气!那里本来是个足球场。”


    只看我们队 一个苏格兰人来到足球场售票处,他拿出50便士买票。
    “还差50便士,先生。”售票员说。
    “可是我只看我们苏格兰队啊。至于另外那个队我一眼都不会看,难道也要交钱吗?”

    受 伤 “您知道吗?我的丈夫在足球比赛中受了伤。”
    “可从来没有谁看见过他踢足球啊!”
    “是的,他是在上星期的比赛中喊坏了声带。”

    请别扔瓶子 足球比赛开始前,场内负责维持治安的人对观众说:“诸位观众,请你们别向裁判员扔
    瓶子,因为所有的瓶子都是可以退钱的。”
    “所以才挨骂”
    在看足球比赛的时候,妻子问丈夫:
    “这位观众干嘛骂他身旁那个人?”
    “是他朝裁判扔的汽水瓶子。”
    “不是没有打中他吗?”
    “所以他才挨骂……”

    先罚点球 一场足球赛进行了120分钟,开始以点球决定胜负了。头两个球双方都没破门。
    一个观众说:“踢得太累,脚法不准了。”
    另一位观众插嘴说:“那为什么不在比赛前罚点球呢?”

    警察与球迷 某球迷因没弄到球票只得爬到球场外的电线杆上观看场内足球赛,看了一会儿见一位警
    察朝这边走来,他刚要下来,只见警察摆摆手问道:“进球没有?”
    “一比零,我们领先。”球迷答道。
    “好!你在那看吧,小心点儿,别摔下来。”警察喜形于色扬长而去。
    球赛即将结束时,警察又走过来问:“几比几了?”
    “一比二,客队赢了……”
    没等球迷说完,警察瞪大了眼睛怒吼道:“那你还有心思看?还不赶快给我下来!”
    球迷见状急忙往下爬,刚爬到一半就听到球场内欢声雷动锣鼓齐鸣,警察忙说:“快
    快,快上去,看看谁又进球了?”

    罚足球迷 某市27岁的足球迷罗兰多·鲍希,因在观看该市足球队和另一足球队比赛的时候,冲
    上球场,打伤客队一名队员的鼻子,当场被押出球场,并受到法院审讯。
    在被告席上,鲍希说:“我根本没看清我打的是球还是头,那时,看到本市的球队好像
    快要输了,我几乎就变成了一条红了眼的公牛……”
    某市法院判处鲍希终生不得观看足球比赛。此后,鲍希家每月就多出一只砸坏了的电视
    机。

    看拳击赛 哥尔登在整个拳击比赛中,一直眉开眼笑。
    他身旁的人问他:“你也是拳击师吗?”
    哥尔登回答道:“不,我是牙科医生!”

    看橄榄球赛 富有的格特太太一直住在乡下,她听说孙子上了大学,还参加了学校的橄榄球队,非常
    高兴。她知道打橄榄球是项运动,虽然这运动她没看过,然而运动员强健的体魄她是可想象
    得到的。
    格特太太为了看孙子进了城。她到孙子的学校去,正赶上孙子参加球赛,于是又坐在看
    台上等着看比赛。可是比赛一开始,她就难过地哭了:“原来是这样,和许多人拼命地抢一
    个球!你只要跟我说一声,要多少我会给你买多少啊!”

    看田径赛 马里什同爸爸去看田径赛。
    “爸爸,为什么这些叔叔都跑得这么快呢?”
    “这是在比赛,谁跑第一谁就是冠军,还可以拿到奖品”。
    “可后面那些人为什么还跑呢?他们能得到什么呢?”
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  11. Anencesoask 2013.11.01 00:59 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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